If you consider yourself even slightly shy around women you’re attracted to, chances are you’re probably missing out on the benefits of making more eye contact. I remember hearing an author on body language calling them the “grenades” of body language because they are so powerful. I’d agree with this analogy considering the waves of fear many people have around eye contact.
The great thing though is that eye contact never really hurts either person, and it is a huge part of creating more connection with women. In a conversation, eye contact is a powerful way to communicate that you’re listening, comfortable with her, and/or attracted to her. Eye contact is also a great way to communicate your interest in women you haven’t talked to yet and pick up on who’s already interested in you.
Here’s a way you can improve this week. Find a friend, family member, or date who’s willing to stare into your eyes in silence for awhile. Tell them you want to just want try this exercise to increase your ability to be more comfortable with making eye contact. Start with just 15 seconds if you need to, and work all the way up to 5 minutes in a row if you can. Try focusing on just one of their eyes to try maintaining constant eye contact instead of flickering back and forth from one eye to another. Note that you don’t have to just focus on one eye in real conversations though.
If it feels uncomfortable at some point, keep going as long as you can. Discomfort means you’re making progress. You’re stretching your social comfort zone and ability to share intimacy with another human being. By stretching yourself to make eye contact in this very intense way, it’ll be that much easier to ratchet back down to making just moderately more eye contact in everyday conversations.
Now go out and improve yourself. I have my “eye” on you