He hesitantly approached them. Everything in his gut was telling him not to. In his head he repeated the opener we came up with over and over, out of fear he’d forget. He kept telling himself it was just a couple guys, they should be easy to approach to get him warmed up, in the conversational mood. Of course as he approached, that thought faltered as the moment arrived and he found the two dudes towering over him. The guys we urged him to approach as a way to warm up and practice being social, were nearly a foot taller than him.
The moment was upon him. He stood armed only with that feeble line brainstormed one minute earlier! He made a mental note to get a refund if this didn’t go well. Surprisingly, the words left his lips with a surprising amount of ease given the growing panic in his chest.
“Hey, just let me know if your arm gets tired up there, you’re welcome to use my head as an armrest!” He forced the biggest grin he could muster and waited for the reaction. Both of the men looked at each other and laughed hard; the three of them fell naturally into conversation. Within about five minutes he came back to us with a look of panic in his eyes.
“What should I do, they offered to buy me a drink?”
Our hero did what every charismatic confident guy DOES, he opened with his personality and people could not help but like him
When I approach a stranger I usually don’t come up with any witty openers. I wish I were more creative but usually I just start with a simple introduction. It’s in the first few moments that I capture people’s attention and start the conversation off right. Those first few moments rest on my opening statement.
“I’m actually from Oregon, but I’ll tell you, I love San Francisco, though it was a really hard decision for me to move here. See, don’t tell anyone, but I am a bit of a hippy. I need to have my nature fix; so I moved to the Presidio. I just love all the trees around; I even have a cute little fluffy skunk that lives under my deck. Luckily he stays on his side of the glass sliding door. What’s your refuge in the city?”
Here is another example a client of mine used:
“So I’ve had a unique opportunity to learn about people in this city, I feel like a fly on the wall sometimes. People see me as just a novel means to get from point A to point B, however they don’t often ask who I really am. Those who do, often learn I am only paying the bills to feed my passion as a writer, those who don’t inquire, I love because I get to hear the interesting stories they tell to someone they feel is non-threatening and honestly a bit below them. As a bike taxi driver I get to discover a lot about human nature.”
By expressing how he actually feels about his work and how people act when they’re around him, we learn a lot about his personality. This is at the heart of what makes him interesting to talk to.
Show who you are in your openers or first statements and you will be the person you always wanted to be, and attract people to you.
