Ok things are getting weird. The last two workshops I’ve taught, there are all these guys at the bars we go to that are in the community. Repeatedly they come up and ask “Are you socialhitchhiker? I’ve read your blog!” This is a weird thing for me. I don’t flatter myself that I am that [...]

Her: “So you’re just buying girls drinks, trying to get them drunk, and take them home.”
You: “Absolutely not, I think that is a really sleazy thing about guys these days.”
You have already crashed and burned here. Defensiveness is the worst thing you can do when relating to just about anyone. So quit it! Learn [...]

Lately i have been so entrenched in trying to get people to relate i don’t know if i have stressed just how important that reward is. This is the other half of the relate and reward cycle.
Rewarding someone is not some pavlovian conditioning response. It is as simple as active listening. When you are actively [...]

Filler words suck! There is nothing that shows insecurity more than someone saying “umm”, “ya know”, “like”, and so on. We all do it and are rarely even aware of it. It absolutely projects a picture of insecurity. So now is a time to drive them out of your speech.
Take a microphone and tape yourself [...]

Having a fun playful attitude is a key part of night game, and for that matter, at all times. We all go out to have fun and not be in deep conversations all night at the bar. While learning to relate and reward on emotional levels we often find ourselves in deep personal conversations. [...]