Comments on: Appreciation http://www.charismatips.com/appreciation/ From Charisma Coaching Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:36:52 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: IAM http://www.charismatips.com/appreciation/comment-page-1/#comment-230 IAM Wed, 09 Aug 2006 16:19:00 +0000 http://www.charismatips.com/?p=66#comment-230 Man...say this little 4 years old tells you that you have a horrible taste for clothes. You should wear dipers from now on. <BR/><BR/>Imagine some kid, who just started out playing golf 2 weeks ago, he is a handicap 33. Now he walks up to Tiger Woods and Jack Nicklaus and comments how T's swing is too fast, and how J's swing is too flat. What would they do??<BR/><BR/>It is not quite the same thing, but perhaps those analogies bring you some clarity. And by all means I m trying to imply that girls are bellow guys, I just wanna ilustrate situations where you clearly wouldnt seek approval. Man…say this little 4 years old tells you that you have a horrible taste for clothes. You should wear dipers from now on.

Imagine some kid, who just started out playing golf 2 weeks ago, he is a handicap 33. Now he walks up to Tiger Woods and Jack Nicklaus and comments how T’s swing is too fast, and how J’s swing is too flat. What would they do??

It is not quite the same thing, but perhaps those analogies bring you some clarity. And by all means I m trying to imply that girls are bellow guys, I just wanna ilustrate situations where you clearly wouldnt seek approval.

]]> By: esoteric http://www.charismatips.com/appreciation/comment-page-1/#comment-231 esoteric Tue, 08 Aug 2006 19:37:00 +0000 http://www.charismatips.com/?p=66#comment-231 I'm also defensive.<BR/><BR/>Would love to hear some insights into the nature of defensiveness (from where it stems and what to do about it). I’m also defensive.

Would love to hear some insights into the nature of defensiveness (from where it stems and what to do about it).

]]> By: SocialHitchHiker http://www.charismatips.com/appreciation/comment-page-1/#comment-232 SocialHitchHiker Tue, 08 Aug 2006 19:37:00 +0000 http://www.charismatips.com/?p=66#comment-232 Check out My blogs on "The first 3 minutes" and "Defensiveness".<BR/><BR/>Honestly for the first three minutes you have to relate. If your conversation is not on an equal level of you asking about her and telling about yourself it will fall apart. It sounds like you have some good goals. Keep with it. Not sure what else is going on, if you haven't already used your phone consult with one of your instructors i would set one up with them.<BR/><BR/>As for defensiveness learn to agree more. If she says something bad just force yourself to agree or disqualify. Check out My blogs on “The first 3 minutes” and “Defensiveness”.

Honestly for the first three minutes you have to relate. If your conversation is not on an equal level of you asking about her and telling about yourself it will fall apart. It sounds like you have some good goals. Keep with it. Not sure what else is going on, if you haven’t already used your phone consult with one of your instructors i would set one up with them.

As for defensiveness learn to agree more. If she says something bad just force yourself to agree or disqualify.

]]> By: Snakebyte http://www.charismatips.com/appreciation/comment-page-1/#comment-233 Snakebyte Tue, 08 Aug 2006 18:59:00 +0000 http://www.charismatips.com/?p=66#comment-233 Hey man, great blog. I will take the CA workshop in Seattle on 8/18. Do you have some insight in not beeing deffensive ? It seems a sticking point for me. Hey man, great blog. I will take the CA workshop in Seattle on 8/18. Do you have some insight in not beeing deffensive ? It seems a sticking point for me.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.charismatips.com/appreciation/comment-page-1/#comment-234 Anonymous Tue, 08 Aug 2006 14:48:00 +0000 http://www.charismatips.com/?p=66#comment-234 hey man, love your blog. i took a CA workshop here in NYC with kory, johnny and matt. i'm still having trouble though. Johnny says i need to take more risks. i seem to have problems in various stages of the game. I think i am a naturally good conversationalist. i have a good social circle (not many women though!) and keep pretty busy with activities. <BR/><BR/>My first 3 minutes w/ women is basically my sticking point. i feel the girl ejects on me. conversation stalls out or i'm not playful enough. do you have any new perspectives on the first 3 minutes now that you're an instructor?<BR/><BR/>here's what i've distilled that i need to do more of. would like your input:<BR/><BR/>1) Compliment openers and observation openers are golden. They provide a justification for why you're striking up a conversation with someone. I've had excellent quality interactions over the last coupla days using them. They're honest as well. This kind of opener is a reward for something they did as well and gets them to open up. <BR/><BR/>2) Instead of me showing off to them, reveal how impressed I am that they know this stuff. I'm too used to being a know-it-all. Instead play DUMB and ask them for more and reward them.<BR/><BR/>3) State: I love to get to know new people. Tell me something interesting about yourself<BR/><BR/>4) Reward people for opening me! Wow, you are really friendly. It takes guts to come up and talk to strangers like this. We are in NYC after all. Were you always this friendly? hey man, love your blog. i took a CA workshop here in NYC with kory, johnny and matt. i’m still having trouble though. Johnny says i need to take more risks. i seem to have problems in various stages of the game. I think i am a naturally good conversationalist. i have a good social circle (not many women though!) and keep pretty busy with activities.

My first 3 minutes w/ women is basically my sticking point. i feel the girl ejects on me. conversation stalls out or i’m not playful enough. do you have any new perspectives on the first 3 minutes now that you’re an instructor?

here’s what i’ve distilled that i need to do more of. would like your input:

1) Compliment openers and observation openers are golden. They provide a justification for why you’re striking up a conversation with someone. I’ve had excellent quality interactions over the last coupla days using them. They’re honest as well. This kind of opener is a reward for something they did as well and gets them to open up.

2) Instead of me showing off to them, reveal how impressed I am that they know this stuff. I’m too used to being a know-it-all. Instead play DUMB and ask them for more and reward them.

3) State: I love to get to know new people. Tell me something interesting about yourself

4) Reward people for opening me! Wow, you are really friendly. It takes guts to come up and talk to strangers like this. We are in NYC after all. Were you always this friendly?

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