Comments on: Be Relatable

By: Motown

Motown — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 22:44:00 +0000

Ahhh, I see what charisma arts are always on about with the “I” perspective now…in describing how something affects you, you are revealing your character, rather than imposing your interpretation of a situation on someone else…which is obviously much colder, less textured and harder to relate to. 2 different languages entirely…really helpful, thanks Dan.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 07:52:00 +0000

maybe you can add a short summary after the end of the entry so in a quick glance, we can quickly see the important points to remember. but to be honest, it does not really bother me to read and reread the whole thing; it's just wonderful and captivating. this is just a suggestion.

example:

entry

------

summary
- important points

- R

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 15:46:00 +0000

“Do you want her to date your friend or you? If you talk about your friend what does that accomplish? She wants to get to know you!”

I never thought about it like that! Interesting…

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 11:26:00 +0000

Kudos for making an effort at passing your ideas to the readers. However, reading your post, especially towards the end, I was getting this strong “Uh-huh, that’s smart” feeling. I think this isn’t the feeling you should leave readers with, cause you’re talking about elementary true human communications and kinda over-explaining it. When you over-explain such a thing, it blurs its elementary essence; people don’t get the mental connection from it to their elementary day-to-day communications. It’s just like people don’t grasp the concept of rapport, as they start to think of it as some contrived dance of eye glances and motions.

By: SocialHitchHiker

SocialHitchHiker — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 06:22:00 +0000

I have to admit i didn’t go out a lot before i became an instructor. However i felt i had tremendous success within about month. I was getting dates and escalating interactions. I started just using techniques i learned here and there and they worked so well. When I became an instructor the other jump in my game was when i incorporated sexual barriers, push pull, and DQ.

The way i really felt i got better was doing the relate/reward cycle in everyday interactions. This method you can practice anytime.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 01:22:00 +0000

Rock on, Dan! i can see so much difference on your previous posts and your current ones. i can see that you mentioned a few times that you did routines, but eventually you started writing more mature posts. it's amazing that you improved a lot since then.

btw Dan, just curious question and i think you can answer this really quick. i think all people have different learning curves but it's inspiring to hear your side of story.

How much did you practice before you nailed everything down? any advices will be great. Right now, i'm still in my head when i do the approaches. there are some points it can be so frustrating and some points that i am successful.

many thanks,
Revmark

By: SocialHitchHiker

SocialHitchHiker — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 23:56:00 +0000

I can do skype. To set up a phone consult just sign up for it on the charisma arts website linked off the blog. Email me good times for you and a copy of your email receipt.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 20:50:00 +0000

I think we all should raise some money and give SHH a big present for his fantastic posts. Dan dude, thank you so much for all you that you give to the world!

Is is possible to do telephone coaching with you, using skype or msn?

Pieter

By: SocialHitchHiker

SocialHitchHiker — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 20:37:00 +0000

Do you want her to date your friend or you? If you talk about your friend what does that accomplish? She wants to get to know you! If you are telling a story about a friend it should be all about your experience being with him and how you felt and what you saw.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 17:10:00 +0000

Great post. I was in isolation with a woman last night in a bar in Cambridge and she said she liked “War and Peace”, and she liked literature because she liked stories about people. I had a great opening there to relate about how reading fiction like James Bond makes me feel excited or takes me away to a special place, or how I enjoy dealing with my clients and how that makes me feel, or how I love cold war history and love learning about the Russian people and mindset. Instead I …didn’t. I talked in the God perspective some, and a fellow Charisma Arts alum was on the fringe of the conversation and I ejected soon after she gave me great stuff so I could get him in isolation and give him some feedback.
I had an opportunity to relate and reveal but didn’t make the most of it, but I am happy that in the future I will me more aware of that. I had a lot of fun last night though because it was fun seeing a less experienced alum in sets making the same mistakes I used to all the time (and still do) although less frequently.
It was satisfying breaking things down in real time telling him “I have to see my friend kino” or “SOI” and then later talking game saying overall great job. You could have escelated here, you were outcome dependent with that set etc.

By: Scribe

Scribe — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 16:23:00 +0000

This is a great great post. Although soemtimes I still have difficulty getting use to speaking about how I feel about something.. I always talk about how somebody else (usually one of my friends) did something related to her experinces..

Hmm, if I use a friend, how can I put him into an “I” perspective and relate emotions?