If you are in a long term or even short term relationship,
NEVER, ever become a slave to your woman.
NEVER let her control you or your social situation
Never let her degrade your mates or choose them for you
Never let her change plans with you and your mates to suit her unless your plans still shine through equally.

From my experience being with an obsessive, possessive girl for over 9 years then breaking up, these things are a must.

My ex would give me the cold shoulder if I wanted to hang out with my mates, if I wasn’t with her 24/7 then I was in trouble and I was probably cheating according to her. This eventually drove me to cheat and it got worse after that but hey, I’m not perfect.

If we were out somewhere and we saw someone and I said “hey, there’s such and such, lets go say hi” she would tell me to go on my own because she didn’t want to say hi. She never made the effort to make new friends or keep up contact with people and she mostly stayed home so she didn’t have a life of her own thus leading her to be pissed at me all the time because I was always out.

There is a good saying that stops all this from happening.

“Bros before hoes” Meaning you shouldn’t sacrifice your friends for a girl. How long does it take you to build a good friendship? Ages, what about all the guys you went to school with and hung out with before you had a girl, you can never get those sort of connections back again, no matter how hard you try, you will get close but its not the same.

This is so true that you can’t even put a price on it and I wish to god and I would give anything to take it back, that I had listened to this advice.

I have over 300 friends on Facebook (not that its much at all) and if I asked all of them to go out, only a handful would reply or attend, I’m pretty sure of this because none of them are close friends.

If you see them out, they aren’t friends, they don’t say hi, its just Facebook, so here’s to social networking sites.

I had broken up with my ex and moved interstate, regretted it and moved back but by then she had a whole new social circle and didn’t need me anymore, amazing. How can someone be so widely accepted, easy, she was pretty and had a vagina, simple as that.

If you are a dude, well, look the fuck out because if you have neglected your mates and lived the married life not talking to your mates then you are in for a shock. Unless you have amazingly good looks, have something to offer like free tickets somewhere, VIP, you work in a bar, free drinks, that sort of thing then you are royally fucked.

Think about it, if a homeless bum comes up and just wants someone to hang out with why would you want to hang with him, take him back to your place and chill out, go clubbing with him….you wouldn’t. Why, because he has nothing of value and he may make you look even worse. Whatever happened to forgetting all that and just giving someone a go with no expectations or needs of fulfilment? (not saying that I take homeless people back to my house, because I wouldn’t 

I am a typical white guy, I go to the gym every day, nod at people and smile, I am not hideous and I have been told that I am quite handsome. I drive a mediocre car and I have a modest salary. I am in debt so I can’t go around spending up big and throwing parties, I can’t afford the latest trends and sunglasses, clothes, shoes etc. I can’t go to every outdoor festival there is and even if I could afford all this, it wouldn’t change a thing.

Its like the saying “money can’t buy happiness” it can give you happy times but deep down you know that it didn’t achieve anything except that you no longer have to worry about cash flow. If I had an Audi R8, nice house, pool, brand name clothes etc what good would it be without real friends. This stuff shouldn’t help you get friends but for some reason I think it helps alot. Of course in most cases if you are non congruent with the persona you are portraying then ultimately you will encounter issues and material wealth will do you no good as far as real friends are concerned.

After my breakup I now live at home with my Mum, (I know, I know), I can’t bring girls back or even have a get together because it is her house. I know I should move out but I can’t afford it because of the debt. I am trying to get out of it as quick as possible so I can start living again but it is really hard so its like I have to put my life on hold thus making it more depressing .

I know I need to get out and join a band or a book club and do this and that but when you have no money how are you supposed to do these things, everything costs money.

So, the meaning of all this is that money can’t buy real friends and when you have no money, your friends will still be around. If you neglect your friends then say bye bye to that. The solution to this is maintain the rule

“Bro’s before hoes”

That is all.

Indiana Lair is where i’m at!

Good Stuff

Thank You

I think the most important point you made is to not turn down invitations. My social life exploded soon after I adopted the maxim “say yes more”. Say yes to invitations, to suggestions, to anything. Each friend I have I can trace back to a time when I said ‘yes’ to something, even if I didn’t really feel like it at the time.

Oh and if you’re ever in Dublin…