He said, “Really? I just saw her that morning why should I call her?” A woman in the workshop visibly jumped forward to the front of her seat leaning towards him nodding her head in agreement with me.
“It’s all about reassurance. There is a feeling of uncertainty after the first time a woman sleeps with a guy. She us unsure if after she has slept with him does he still respect her; is he still interested now that he got what he was after?” The women in the workshop were all visibly nodding their heads, while he had a look of disbelief on his face saying, “Even if she slept over and I just talked to her that morning?”
It is something that almost I forget most men don’t realize. It is an unspoken rule, call the next day after having sex with a woman for the first time. I have had almost every girlfriend I have ever had thank me up and down for this simple act. For many women the most vulnerable time in the entire relationship is after the first time they have sex with a man. If they have any intention of wanting to see you again and it wasn’t just a one-night-stand, they will be wondering how things will go after that first time. Women know us men are in it for the sex. The question is if all the interest we have shown in her was in addition to that goal, or just as a means to get her in bed.
A simple quick phone call is all it takes to reassure her. In fact, even a message on an answering machine counts. Don’t push it by just sending a text. For me that message goes something like this, “Hi Sarah, I just wanted to call to say hi and that I had a really nice night with you last night. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll talk to you soon. Catch you later.” If you get her on the phone then have a nice bit of conversation. The only things I don’t do is explicitly mention the sex or try to set up another date immediately. If she does then it is fine. The reason I do that is I don’t want to make it appear my only interest in seeing her again is the sex. I then usually call her again the following day and set up our next date.
Ask a woman if you doubt this one! They will all tell you how important such a small thing is. Ladies, tell your guy friends, they will thank you; guys get with it and don’t forget to make that call!
Tags: Calling, Phone Game, Reassurance, Relationships, sex, Women
December 4th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
What if you don’t actually have sex with them (some clothes come off, but no actual intercourse), does the rule still apply?
December 6th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Not as important as the first time you have sex. This might be where a text is ok but a call is fine just not required.
December 7th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Its important that guys adhere to this rule. If you respect women then you will save them from all of the mind games they put themselves through uncontrollably and just make the call. It’s 1 minute out of your day that could potential lead to greatness in the beginning of a relationship.
Nice article, Dan.
May 3rd, 2009 at 11:13 am
Thank u.
June 8th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
i have a situation where its hard to figure out..does he or does he NOT want me..
I have been friends with his sister for about 2 years now i go over the house i see him all the time..
this past november he asked me for my phone number, i could tell he wanted it badly- i waited a few days, gave him my number we messaged eachother back n forth for a week or so.. he wanted to see me.We watched some t.v together, and he was tellin me how he didnt think i was serious about him,and that he wants to be with me and all that good talk. well a week later i had sex with him.He dropped me off at home the next morning. i waited for a call or txt later that day.The following day,the next day after that and the next day.until finally i couldnt take it i txt him and asked him why he hasnt called, and he said i been busy and he told me i should have called him.he then asked to see me again that night, n that he would call me later and he did not, i waited a few days no calls no messages. I had my number changed- didnt speak to him until
the middle of may
i went over his house with his sister, he then was begging me for my new number- I kept saying No everyday he would ask. i told him im not going through what he put me through last time we got together.
he said he wouldnt do it again.a week after him askin me for my new number i gave it to him, he chased me for about 4 or 5 days calling me off the hook, asking when can he see me and that things will be different this time &
of course stupid me.. had sex with him a few days later– after..no call- day 2 no call .. day 3 i txt him said whats up, where ya been -he said busy n that i didnt call him.i said i shouldnt have to call you! i put my feelings out there on the line again for you thinkin it was gonna be different like you told me and made it seem like,nobody is gona lead me on and take from me what i treasure the most(Me & My Body). he litterally replied back and said sara your weird
why did this happen????
thanks for reading!
June 8th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
Unfortunately he was only in it for the sex. Once he got it he was done. Some men are like that. He was in it for the chase and when he got it he was done. It’s an asshole thing to do and really the only way to avoid it is make a guy go on more dates before he gets sex.
Men love a chase, sometimes that is what they like more than you. You didn’t do anything wrong, and worse yet it might happen to you again in the future with another guy. Don’t take it personal. Make sure you make a guy wait a few dates and it will be a rare occurrence.
October 8th, 2009 at 1:35 am
Thank you for your advice you for the article. For the first time EVER did I had sex with a guy that I realy felt compatible with via phone calls and texts. We had only physically met 2 prior times before we did the deed. To my surprise he never called back!!! I tried to tell him in an email how hurt I was. I went through the whole I am a slut thing, to I need to go to a Dr. and make sure I didn’t contract a disease (which I still will do). I sent him this article to get him to understand that I am not this “emotional” woman. We woman do go through all that you have said. Lord knows I have had enough tears shed on my shoulder when my friends guy didn’t call back. I told my one and only “dog”, that all he had to do was call the next day to even gently say “it wasn’t going to work out because of……” Thank you for your understanding. I don’t feel nuts. First and last time with a “dog”. I would rather be alone than go through this feeling of feeling like a slut. And.. the sex of course was terrible, because it was too soon and his kids who were asleep, were down the hall. They could have woken up at any moment. And he never called…. I had to write an email I was so upset, and to be honest I still am. I am 44 and never had that happen to me. I feel like I lost my sense of intuition.
December 1st, 2009 at 7:20 am
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