“Hey, it’s so good to see you!” I exclaim as I run over and hug a female friend of mine, lifting her off her feet with my hug.
“Hey, where’s mine?” her male friend I have not met interjects. I turn to him and give him a big hug and lift him off his feet as well. After warm introductions the rest of the night he could not stop telling all my friends and people we met how cool I was and what a great energy I had. This is the power of touching.

One of our other instructors once told me of a study where they left money in an ATM. Someone came up and asked a series of people who had been to the ATM if they had found the money. The first series he did not touch them and the second he lightly touched them on the arm. 70% kept the money when not touched yet 70% gave it back when just simply touched. The practical applicability to human interaction is that appropriate touch creates bonding between people.

Going even further, human touch stimulates the release of oxytocin, a powerful hormone that is involved with human bonding. The longer and more you touch someone the more this hormone is released and they can not help to feel more connected to you.

I could go on and on, from studies promoting seven hugs a day to promote proper emotional and mental development, to the one week of time a woman feels bonded after an orgasm. The fact is that human beings need to be touched and that any developing relationship needs appropriate touch.

Now before you go groping around touching in the wrong way, every nice guy’s biggest fear, I’ll give you some ideas that I found helpful in learning to do more touching naturally.

The first step is entering personal space. This is usually on the approach. I’ve found a good measure of where someone’s personal space extends is one arms length. In fact it would be the distance if you reached out and placed your hand on their shoulder and kept your arm straight. Try this on a friend to see how it works for you. I notice there is a very distinct line that even a few centimeters over and someone will feel uncomfortable. The cool thing is you can get closer than this if you angle your body to theirs. Face to face the comfortable space is much further away than if you are shoulder to shoulder. Transitioning from face to face to an evenly angled, and at times even side to side, is the key to getting closer. If you don’t get close enough for touching to feel comfortable than you won’t do it.

Now that you are having a conversation close enough, you should start (or continue) talking with your hands below your chest level. You are close enough, touching the other person should come easy. I start with the back of my hand, specifically the backs of my fingers. Touching on the upper arm not above or on the shoulder, and not below the elbow. This type of touch is very platonic and you would get away with even in delicate situations.
From there using the back of your hand/fingers on the outside of her knee/thigh is also good if you are sitting near her. As the conversation gets at all personal, that is when you start using the palm of your hand on her arm. Keep your thumb in; women are very sensitive to any type of touch that borders on grabbing.

Progression from there needs to be calibrated. Once you SOI then the touching needs to have a more intimate feeling to it. Longer holds, touching her hands, putting your hand on the small of her back as you lean in to talk to her. If there is any resistance back up a bit with a level of touch she is more comfortable with. Also don’t underestimate the power of seemingly unintended touch. Simply sitting with your leg touching hers or your arms touching if side-by-side; brief or prolonged creates a similar connection.

Another technique I use to get a woman to hold my hand is I simply put it in front of me palm up and leave it there while I talk. Most women unconsciously put their hand right in mine. This is what I call a hand vacuum, it works when holding my hand out to shake theirs as well. Leave it out there confidently and almost anyone will put their hand in yours. Hell, one of our instructors even had a woman put her boob in his hand one time doing this.

Appropriate and personal touch is one of the most important aspects of getting someone to be comfortable with you. If you don’t touch her all night, how can you expect her to be comfortable with you sticking your tongue in her mouth or other more interesting body parts inside her.

Escalation is a process that starts from the first moment of listening as she speaks, to the first statements of appreciation, to showing your sexual intent with a SOI. Although the nature and way you touch changes through this process, it is important to make sure you consistently utilizing touch to create a bond between you and her.

Related Posts

16 Responses to “Creating A Personal Vibe – Kino”

Leave a Reply

Name (required)

Email (required) (not shown)

Website