Ok, so mostly just turned on it’s head. I’ll warn you now if you are reading this post looking for the usual article, keep scrolling to the next post. This is a personal diatribe.
The last few months of my life have been rocky.. From my split with Charisma Arts to starting this new venture has had some interesting ups and downs. I feel a little like a manic depressive, I had days where I work 14 hours straight on developing Charisma Coaching, and I have had days where I have sat on the couch and done nothing but play video games and watch movies while drowning my blues in alcohol. Being unemployed has had an interesting effect on my self image and happiness as well. When I am getting phone coaching and private clients I am on top of the world. Sitting in an empty room hoping people show up to my talks has driven me to drink on more than one occasion. The main thing that I have stumbled upon this morning with the help of my dear friend Jonah, is that I have been going about this all wrong.
I love teaching men and women how to flirt, date, and communicate. In learning it myself it opened up the doors to a huge amount of success in my life. I realized that communicating better improved my relationships, my sex life, my work life, and generally made me so much happier. However I realize inside of me there is this shame. I was ashamed of what I did for a living when I was working with Charisma Arts. I loved the teaching and changing peoples lives. I openly told people what I did for a living and was proud of it. What I was ashamed of is what people thought when they went to the website and saw all over it “Succeed with women”, “Be Amazing with Women!”, “Learn the art of Seduction!”. It made me cringe to think people saw me as an instructor of that.
My shame in that is what shaped my vision of my current venture. The problem is that I became too generalized in an attempt to legitimize what I teach. Everyone can use what I teach but it is too difficult to see how it can solve the symptoms of what makes people unhappy. Marketing my workshops has been insanely difficult. I feel like I am selling ice to eskimos. No one thinks like “The reason I am unable to meet the man/woman of my dreams is because I don’t know how to communicate well.” I was selling the cure and forgetting to talk about the symptoms. By being ashamed of coming off as a “Pick Up Artist”, I went in a direction that was a marketing disaster.
Well I still don’t and never will claim I am a “Pick Up Artist”. I am having a new vision of where this company is going to go. I still have a vision to teach communication skills to people for all aspects of their lives, but I realize I need to attack it from a different angle. I am turning my focus back to dating exclusively. The thing that will differentiate me is that I am not going to exclusively just teach men, or just teach women. I am in the market for a vivacious passionate female instructor to co-teach with me and help develop content for Charisma Coaching. If anyone knows of anyone please send them my way. I am going to cut back on workshops and instead focus on this blog more, start doing regular podcasts and develop an audio product and a book. Of course I will still be offering private in-person and phone coaching. Once we get a stronger following and larger market we will open up the workshops again.
So what does that mean to you as a reader? MORE! You are going to get more blog posts, more content, and more podcasts. The name of things may change, but the vision I have is still strong and will slowly evolve. Also I am going to start blogging about my personal life and things about me. I am hoping to bring in more bloggers so there should be a lot more content as well.
Bear with me as these changes are going to be interesting but I think everyone will benefit from being more focused on building my business around good content.
Thanks for reading!
October 31st, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Nice read and I am happy that you are gonna try to bring more into your blog, but actions speak louder than words. Also, I look forward to reading about your personal life again like your blog was when you first started. Good luck and can’t wait to read and listen to what you have to say. Peace!
October 31st, 2008 at 3:19 pm
You never struck me as the type that only cared about getting tail. Your posts have always shown a focus on communicating, not manipulation or tricks, and that’s easy for anyone to appreciate.
I really hope things improve for you.
October 31st, 2008 at 11:00 pm
I like it. Start small and grow up, but do not miss the target of communication for every situation in life is, in the end what I/other loads of people need and are looking for.
Good luck, and remmember not to drink in the field. If the field is everything do not drink too much or too many times.
November 1st, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Dan, I don’t have to tell you that I’m a huge fan. You have already changed so much of my life and I would love to help in anyway. What are your rates for personal/phone coaching? Also, I’ll be more than happy to write reviews or act as reference or whatever that may help your business.
Shoot me an email and let’s talk.
James
November 1st, 2008 at 9:35 pm
A thought: keep connected with the guys from pickup podcast, since they’re getting a lot of attention lately(they were even mentioned on Saturday Night Live).
November 2nd, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Dan, I admire your honesty. I’m also thrilled to hear that there will be more content more frequently! I guess that makes me a little greedy too
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:50 am
Hey Dan!
and even though it’s not _my_ job, I can totally relate to the sense of shame. I don’t talk about this at work in general, there are just a few people I have shared it with. But only because I knew they were also trying to improve theirselves in one way or another. Then there is the occasional reference when I’m with my friends. And I like getting my friends over their approach anxiety by motivating them. I think it’s very rewarding, even though things may not go perfect every time. But at least they tried.
Nice to hear from you again. I’m just a ’student’
I don’t know why it is a bit of a taboo. It’s not just the ‘getting better with women’. But in my experience, people just find it weird when you take self-help courses. I just don’t understand that. Trying to better yourself is always better than winding up being some cat-lady, or the weird guy down the street.
So while I’m writing this I came to realize something. This is nothing different than approaching women. You just have to go out there and do it. It’s the being confident about it that makes the difference. I was very hesitant about putting up a charisma coaching banner on my website, I was afraid of what people might think, what my boss might think. But this is a part of ME, _I_ am taking matters into my own hands, and I don’t care what people might think of that anymore.
I know I can accomplish what I set out to do, and I’m not going to hide this side of me any longer. and maybe because of that people might learn from my experiences.
Keep up the good work Dan.
Yours,
Whacko
P.S. I know my way around videoediting software etc. So if you’d like a nice introduction video for this website, drop me a line and maybe we can make something awesome
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I’ve enjoyed your Charisma Coaching classes, and have found them to be immensely helpful for my conversation skills, even though I am still trying to digest everything. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to what you have in store for us next.
November 7th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Dan, chin up friend. You were always my favorite CA teacher and I keep your blog in my favorites because it is one of my go to resources on dating and conversational wizardry. If you need content for your blog I’ll gladly volunteer as your advice has been invaluable to me. Contact me, tell me what I can do for you and it will be done.
November 29th, 2008 at 5:57 am
Hey Dan,
I’ve followed your blog religiously for the past two years and I’d say you were one of the instrumental influences in becoming a better conversationalist and a better person overall.
The thing that separated you from the other CA instructors was that you let us take a peek into your own personal life – and that’s how I connected with you, not as an instructor for CA, but for Dan.
Now that you’ve parted ways with CA, I still check once every so often to see if you’ve encapsulated some sort of intangible/incomprehensible idea into something that’s easy to understand and relate to on some basic level.
That’s what sets you apart from the rest and keeps me coming back for more. I’m glad to see that you’re posting more often now.
Cheers,
Will