You can also get to know service people you’ll see repeatedly. I took the time to learn the names and get to know the employees of a laundry mat I used to use. Every time I went in there we learned a little more about each other. I felt great and connected when they welcomed me with a personal greeting and smile each time I walked in. I would walk out the door feeling a little more social and outgoing than when I walked in. Did this all help me when I approached a cute woman one day shortly after dropping off my laundry? You bet.

You can create these relationships and little positive social recharges in all areas of your life. Some examples include the staff at your gym, waiters and bar tenders at your favorite restaurants, the DJ at your favorite dance club, and your neighbors who you frequently pass. This week introduce yourself to at least one person you’ll see again in your daily routine. Find out at least a little bit about each other. If you’re new to a place it’s as easy as, “Hi, I’m Kyle. [handshake and their response] Nice to meet you. I’m new here.”  Then ask an open ended question. If you’ve been going to a place for awhile, you could say “Hi, I figure I’ve been coming here (to this bar, this gym, etc.) long enough that I should actually get to know some of the cool people here. I’m Kyle.”

Have fun talking to everyone,
Kyle

The great thing though is that eye contact never really hurts either person, and it is a huge part of creating more connection with women. In a conversation, eye contact is a powerful way to communicate that you’re listening, comfortable with her, and/or attracted to her. Eye contact is also a great way to communicate your interest in women you haven’t talked to yet and pick up on who’s already interested in you.

Here’s a way you can improve this week. Find a friend, family member, or date who’s willing to stare into your eyes in silence for awhile. Tell them you want to just want try this exercise to increase your ability to be more comfortable with making eye contact. Start with just 15 seconds if you need to, and work all the way up to 5 minutes in a row if you can. Try focusing on just one of their eyes to try maintaining constant eye contact instead of flickering back and forth from one eye to another. Note that you don’t have to just focus on one eye in real conversations though.

If it feels uncomfortable at some point, keep going as long as you can. Discomfort means you’re making progress. You’re stretching your social comfort zone and ability to share intimacy with another human being. By stretching yourself to make eye contact in this very intense way, it’ll be that much easier to ratchet back down to making just moderately more eye contact in everyday conversations.

Now go out and improve yourself. I have my “eye” on you
Kyle

At first I tried saying something like, “Well, it was really nice talking to you anyway. I’m kind of new to starting conversations with attractive women who I want to meet. Could you tell me how I did?” Generally the women were too nice to say anything that would actually be helpful. I found it worked better to tweak the question to something like “What’s one thing I could do better or improve on?” or “How did it feel to you?”. Often women still wouldn’t name something, but occasionally I got a few real gems.

One woman told me it felt kind of like an interview. One woman told me I revealed my whole life story so quickly that it made it feel awkward. Take all of this feedback with a grain of salt. If you start seeing patterns and repeats in women’s responses, it’s probably worth taking a look at how you can improve those things.

Don’t take my word for it though. Ask a few women for feedback this week!
Kyle

Turns out none of that happened to me or the dozens of other guys I’ve helped or known.  In fact sometimes the positive results were quite amazing!  I got to the point of having more dating opportunities in 24 hours than I used to have in 6 months.  I’ve met guys who are over 300 pounds or less than 4 feet tall who date incredible women.  I’ve helped a nervous 45 year old guy walk up to a gorgeous woman in her 20′s, have a fun conversation, and leave with a number and plans to meet again.

So here’s your challenge.  Write down at least 3 things that you’d like to do in your dating life but you don’t think are possible.  Ask yourself if at least one guy has probably ever achieved these desires anywhere in the world at any point in history?  Do you have the ability to improve your dating skills and success, just like anything else you’ve become good at in your life?  Would your desires become more achievable if you talked to more women?  What if you talked to 5 women a day, 35 women a week, 150 women a month, and 1,825 women a year?

What you want to create is probably a lot more achievable and realistic than you think.  E-mail me (kyle@charismacoaching.org) or post a comment about something you want in dating that you think is unrealistic.  Maybe myself or another reader can share a story to prove otherwise.

Here’s to dreaming and living big,

Kyle

1)  Give yourself extra time to complete errands like grocery shopping, going to a pharmacy, walking somewhere, or taking public transit.  When I leave 10 minutes early to walk through a city or town, that’s 10 minutes I have to strike up conversations with women I want to meet.  When I leave with just enough time for me to grab groceries and run back to make my next commitment, there’s almost no chance that I’ll talk to the beautiful woman I see in the next aisle.  Using the excuse that “I’m just too busy to talk to her” is way easier than messing up my schedule to meet her.

2)  When you’re in public take a break from your phone.  Put off that phone conversation until later, stop playing video games, and take those freaking headphones out of your ear!  Today it seems like everyone and their grandmother are concentrating on their phone in public.  It’s a heck of a lot easier for you to start conversations with women and for them to start talking with you when you aren’t distracted by electronics.

3)  Pick your seat intentionally.  Give yourself the best chance for connection when you’re finding a seat on public transit, a waiting room, an audience, or anywhere else.  Start by just sitting next to or near the girl you’d really like to meet.  If you’re not comfortable enough to start a conversation at that moment, you’re still improving your habit to sit next to people who attract you.  Heck, she may even start a conversation with you!  If there’s no one interesting to sit down next to, pick a seat where it’s possible that interesting people can chose to sit near you.  Don’t crowd up seats next to you by placing your bag or coat there.  When on public transit, leave the aisle seat open next to you so someone interesting may sit down.

Now get out there and meet some awesome people!

Kyle

In these states I’m most susceptible to harming my success by gorging on unnecessary information.  I used to believe that if I listened to another countless audio book that I was still being productive, right?  Wrong, at least most of the time.  It’s still best to keep taking action toward improving.  The key is to make the action easy enough so that we actually do it and enjoy it.

If you’re not feeling up to meeting new dates or friends, here are some ideas.  Improve your existing relationships and decrease your neediness by spending quality time with friends and family.  You can practice your new social skills with them too!  Improve the attractiveness of your lifestyle by going to a new Meetup group that excites you (www.meetup.com).  Make your appearance more attractive by going shopping for better clothes.  Invite a friend along and chat with some friendly sales staff!

It’s expected and natural that you’ll have ups and downs in your dating success and morale.  Everyone that I’ve talked to, even full-time dating coaches, have times when they need to ratchet down and be easier on themselves.  It’s key to take good care of yourself and take action to get the connection and boost in confidence you need.  Also remember that  a rise in morale is truly just around the bend.  Take it from me.  I’ve been through it all too.

Kyle

In the past I’ve spent hundreds of hours studying more than what was needed.  This drastically slowed down my progress.  It breaks my heart when I meet guys who have put years of study into this area, but the actions they’ve taken and their success is minimal or nothing.  I recently met a kind hearted young man who has studied “game” for over 5 years.  He was incredibly genuine and we quickly bonded.  On our first day working together he talked to more women than he had in the combined last 5 years of “studying” how to meet women!  These 6 hours of real life practice and experience probably propelled him toward success more than 95% of his previous efforts.

For your sake and all of the people that would love to have you in their life, please get out there and do something.  Get support, accountability, and ideally expert coaching.  Have a long term plan of action.  You can start by doing the exercises in my upcoming blog posts and trying a new exercise every few days in the free two week e-course, available by entering your name and e-mail at http://www.thecharminggeek.com.

Now go get on that bike and learn to ride!

Kyle

A fantastic filmmaker and former roommate Andrew Jung created this.

My first invention, the Ninja Standing Desk is about to go live on Kickstarter.com (crowd funding website where you can pre-order it).

Ninja Standing Desk - Pre-Order Wed July 11th

I have been working on this for the last 10 months putting everything I have into it. (This is also why my blog has not been as active lately. I am still coaching, but only on a limited basis and I am only taking a select few clients right now.)

After having debilitating pain myself fixed by using a standing desk I really want to help others who need this product.

—–

The Ninja Standing Desk:

Have the freedom to work from anywhere! The world’s first portable sit and stand desk. It can hang on any door, wall, or cubicle, and folds so you can carry it with you anywhere. Available for Pre-Order on Kickstarter Wed July 11th.

—–

Please Help! I need to get the word out about this project so I can raise the funding goal to start the first production run.

If you know of anyone with a large social media following, is a journalist or blogger, or can help spread the word please ASK them to help get the word out. Also don’t be afraid to mention it to your friends, word of mouth really is the best way to spread the word!

Don’t want a standing desk?

How about a cool ninja star fridge magnet?

More Info: NinjaStandingDesk.com

]]> http://www.charismatips.com/can-you-help/feed/ 0 http://www.charismatips.com/8-week-coaching/ http://www.charismatips.com/8-week-coaching/#comments Thu, 24 May 2012 00:57:40 +0000 Dan M http://www.charismatips.com/?p=651 NEW – 8 Week Group/In-Person Coaching Program in San Francisco

Commit to making a change that will last!

Become confident in your ability to meet and choose who you want to date! Feel secure knowing you can attract the kind of person you want, without abandoning who you really are or what you really want. This program will blend traditional group support and motivation, collaborative introspection, role playing, and communication skills to express your personality in an attractive confident manner. Each week we will combine active coaching and skill building with group discussion on relevant topics such as loneliness, emasculation, sex, femininity and masculinity, assertiveness, friendships, and building a strong social circle with both men and women. Together as a group of men, women, gay and straight, we reveal what your potential date is thinking, what to say, and how to flirt!

Week 1: Know Thyself. What is interesting, exciting, and inspiring about you? In this session we will learn what it is about us that attracts others and how we can build our lives into one worth sharing.

Week 2: Project Extreme Confidence. This week you are going to create a program to develop extreme confidence. We will personalize a program to enrich your life, discover new hobbies, interests, and adventures that will make you more interesting and passionate in your life. Attract the person you want to be with by being the person you know you can be.

Week 3: How and Where to Meet People. Learn how to strike up a conversation anywhere, and how to meet people in any situation.

Week 4: Live assertively. How to go after what and who you want in an honest way!

Week 5: Create the social circle you always wanted. We can all agree that a person is more attractive if they have their own social circle that is not entirely dependent on the person they are dating. A rich fulfilling social life is within your reach. This week you will learn how to explode your social circle.

Week 6: Master your own Destiny. This week we will be exploring how to take the relationship where you would like it to go. We will clear up what has been stopping you and make sure you are clear on the process of taking basic conversation to the first date and beyond.

Week 7: Masculinity, Femininity, and Sexuality. Being confident in expressing femininity, masculinity and sexuality is a challenge for most people. The last two weeks of this program will be about coming to terms with our own desires, insecurities, and genuinely expressing our sexuality.

Week 8: Flirting and Relationship Building

Our final week we will push our limits with learning to communicate in a fun playful flirtatious way. We will discuss consciously choosing the types of relationships we want to cultivate and set future goals and get honest feedback on the things that are holding us back the most.

Cost: $55 per session, sliding scale available based on financial need

Schedule: Weekly, on Mondays 7pm-8:45pm
Projected Start Date: June 25, 2012
Registration: email dan_at_charismacoaching.org
Scheduling: Group will be limited to 8 members with 6 members as a minimum to begin the group. A half hour phone interview with Dan will be necessary.

I am a sucker for the chase, I’ll admit it. I have lost interest in phenomenal women when I knew I could have them with ease and they were falling for me. I think of several women in my past that I could be married to right now and be supremely happy with, that I lost interest in because of feeling like they were TOO into me. The Balance of interest was just too lopsided and I felt that vibe and it turned me off. With us guys that happens even more regularly as women are even more attuned to our verbal and nonverbal underlying communication

There has to be an element of chase in every relationship, but more so where that comes from is the abolishing of the needy vibe. You must communicate verbally and non verbally that you have choice in the people you date. You are choosing to be with this person, not trying to get them to choose you.

Balanced Escalation is the Key!

The most important lesson I learned is that I don’t need to play games or worry about wether she percieves me as chasing her or her chasing me. If I simply balance the elements of escalation in a relationship things go smoothly. Here are just a few points I consciously think about balancing:

Balance of Interest

• 1) “I’ll miss you!”

These are the words of death from a new person I am dating. Every time in the past I have ever heard a woman say this to me before we were in a relationship it felt like my heart ran out the door faster than I could. When I was younger I actually would say these words and watch a fear behind a girl’s eyes that she could never hide.

Why? Because normally this statement shows an intense amount of need. It is almost as bad as “I love you”, the words are not that bad, it is just that a response is required to a statement like that and anytime we feel required to return that much interest our hearts rebel.

Solution: Be careful with statements that require a response or a validation. Tone of voice and timing are really important. Try a quick take away barrier if you feel like you went to far like “But I can’t tell you that because I don’t know you well enough yet. ”

The Exception: I heard these words this weekend and it surprisingly did not have the usual effect. In fact I loved hearing them even though it was only after I was leaving in the morning after the second date. Mainly because there was no neediness in her voice. In fact there was an earlier statement she said that ran through my head the moment she said “I’ll miss you”. She had said “Honestly I like my alone time. Someone has to be pretty remarkable for me to want to be around them.” For a woman like this to say “I’ll miss you” it became a compliment to me rather than a statement of neediness.

The same can apply to you. If you are truly busy with a fulfilling life with choice in who you spend your time with, no neediness will be projected regardless of what you say and all the dating advice you have ever received should be tossed out and ignored.

Communication Balance

• 2) Phone/Text – Too much, not enough, should I wait before calling or texting?

Nothing is more of a turn off to me if I receive too many texts or worse yet multiple voicemails between my texts and phone calls. Communication is a sign of interest. Too much and you reveal your hand too fast, too little and you are not going to get anywhere. But beware of falsely creating time between contacts just to try to balance things, it will come off manipulative, frustrating, and may make her lose interest rather than get more interested.

I am reminded over and over, if you like someone CALL THEM! Don’t wait to try to seem less needy. If you aren’t needy nothing you do will come off as needy and if you are needy, no matter how you try to hide it, it still comes through.

Review the information in Dating Decoded about how many times to call, when to call, and how to reduce flakes, as well as my 5 steps that will almost guarantee a call or text back! Once you get a response though there really aren’t any rules. Don’t blow off appointments in the hope of getting a return phone or text, go on with your life. Be busy don’t act busy!

Tips: Go back to the sequence I outline in Dating Decoded if you don’t hear from her after a couple days go back to the sequence: Voicemail, Statement Text, Final Voicemail.

If she is actively texting and phoning you don’t worry about how often you are doing it. Just don’t send 3 texts for every one of hers. Keep it balanced and avoid the urge to send the 3rd unanswered text or phone call. Wait a couple days then go back to the sequence and start again.

Compliment Balance

• 3) You’re beautiful, impressive, interesting, and smart!

This honestly has always been one of the hardest things to balance in my relationships. When I like a woman I verbalize that in the form of compliments. This can become overwhelming on a few fronts if I am not careful.

Undeserved Compliments – Telling a woman she is beautiful, funny, interesting, etc, needs to be genuine. She can sense it when you are only complimenting her to try to evoke a positive response. Your affection for her has to be deserved; she may reject the compliment or be shy about accepting the compliment, but you have to establish why you are giving her the compliment.

Over Complimenting – This is a tough one, if she is a high quality woman like you always hoped you’d meet, there will be lots of genuine compliments you can give her. What makes it harder is women are usually HORRIBLE about taking compliments and will oftenreturn a compliment just because you gave her one.. Luckily this balance point you do have more leeway. Rarely will a compliment turn a woman off, unless she sees you complimenting her because you feel she is out of your league or you are trying to get her return affection. Stick to compliments that are genuine and you should be fine. If she isn’t initiating compliments at other times then that is something to note and you may want to slow down a bit in this department.

Pedestals and Status Balance

• 4) “You are too good for me!”

The most stunning gorgeous woman in the world still is insecure about her looks compared to other women.

If you constantly put her up on that pedestal she will feel you don’t actually see her for who she is, or she will just believe you are not good enough for her.

A woman’s beauty is intoxicating for us men! When we meet a woman who we really do believe is above our usual standards we almost can’t contain ourselves. If you really do believe she is too beautiful to be interested in you she will end up sensing that and it will kill her attraction for you.

If this is your issue go rent “She’s Out of My League”. Ok I just really want you to check out my celebrity crush of Krysten Ritter, but honestly the whole movie is about a guy who gets THAT beautiful woman we all dream about and screws it up because he feels she’s above him. Of course his absolute lack of a fulfilling life and any sense of confidence means that this really only would happen in hollywood.

If you meet that woman that is out of your league then beware of “Hot Woman Syndrome” and if she really is that “The One” you’ve dreamed about, realize by putting her on a pedestal you will lose her. Treat her right, be warm and affectionate, compliment her, but don’t overdo it!

Social intelligence is all about developing an awareness of the balance in your interactions. Learn to be aware of these elements and keep them balanced, and you will be able to throw out the rule book and never worry again about playing games, when you should show interest, and turning a girl off because you are too into them.

• Grab interest from the very start
• Make even boring conversation Interesting
• Avoid the #1 mistake guys make in conversation
• Let even short conversations make their mark!

Join us for an interactive 1.5 hr tele-workshop that is limited to a small number of people. Learn the framework of making every statement you make into a captivating mini-story. We will also as a group help each person in the workshop take their “what is interesting about you?” story to the next level and make it captivating.

The difference between a memorable meeting or date and not getting another one, is how well you keep her interest and express yourself. Learn to speak in a way that is more interesting and relatable, it is the easiest way to ensure you get the next date!

Sign up Now – Only 5 spots left!

6/13 Monday 5pm PDT

My method of teaching people how to create attraction is all about establishing connection so strong she says “wow I feel like you really get me!” That is really important on both sides. She needs to reveal herself to you and you have to reveal yourself to her. Throw in some confidence, appreciation, flirting and escalation and you have the roadmap to some really intense attraction.

The challenge I have found is that sometimes it is hard to elicit emotions, character traits, and deeper emotional connection in every situation. People fall back into comfortable light conversation very quickly. Sometimes such as in a bar or nightclub you don’t want to spend the entire night in deep conversation, nor should you. The conversation doesn’t have to bee that deep but you do need to elicit emotions and character traits if you want to establish that emotional connection.

One of the easiest ways I have found to inspire someone to reveal more emotions and character traits is with a simple followup question:

“What inspired you to get into that? “What inspired you to try that?”

This reveals so many underlying thoughts and emotions that it sets the stage for you to very easily relate to her. Often it reveals her character traits that set you up for a very effective statement of appreciation. викСувенириикониикониПравославни иконииконопис

Catch you all when I return!

Dan M
Charismatips.com

The DO’s and DON’T of online dating, if you are looking for a quality female:

-DO send an email that engages and opens a conversation. This can include your thoughts about things in common or that stood out in my profile to you. If you want an awesome woman, be awesome!

-DON’T ask me out on the first email or send an email that says “hi” or “how’s it going?” or “you are pretty” and that’s it. zzZzZzz.

-DON’T send me an email regurgitating your profile to me. I’m clicking on your profile, trust me.

-DO ask me for my number if after a few email exchanges if I am responding, engaged and seem interested. A few = about 2 exchanges. Less than that, no chemistry built yet. More than that, congrats! We are now on the way to being pen pals.

-DO give me a call and see how our chemistry goes. If all goes well, let’s set a date for a few days ahead of time.

-DON’T ask me how my online dating has been going. Think about it, there’s really nothing I could say that would lead to truly interesting conversation and we will officially be doing “girl talk”…not hot.

-DO call when you say you are going to call. I am looking for a man of his word because my word is gold.

-DON’T ask me out for the same day. That screams “hook-up” which might not be your intention and I will run like the wind! Once you’ve put the nail in that coffin with me, it will be almost impossible to get it out. I’ll be spontaneous AFTER I get to know you.

-DON’T ask me to come to your house (really, that’s what you call a date?)

-DO use the phone! Yes, the phone! Voice on voice action, baby! Smart men know women connect between their ears, not on an LED screen. Phone = main course. Email/text = snacks. Guys who only email and text = phantoms.

-***NEW*** (and you would not believe how often this happens!)…DON’T bring up Star Wars on the first date. (I’m really having fun now….haha)

-DO suggest a meeting that’s fun and has some thought put into it (note: I said “thought” and not “money”) because that’s what I would do for you. By the way, first date coffee and/or drinks at your favorite local dive bar = an interview.

*My* man has class….

Dinner is always great, or if you want to make sure I am not 200 lbs in person before you spend money on dinner, a walk in the park, a salsa lesson, a motorcycle ride, a run/hike, or any activity like that you would like a female opinion for is great. Maybe you need to pick out a shirt for an event? shoes? Or some help picking out a gift for your ______? or anything else that your creative mind in that gorgeous head of yours can think of….I’m there!

1. Listen to that voice in your head saying “that sounds stupid, don’t say that!”

One of the most important steps to becoming that creepy guy that makes women so uncomfortable is to learn to censor what you say. Expressing what you think confidently is a guaranteed way to make people like you and feel comfortable around you. Your goal is of course the opposite so it is very important to censor yourself so that only the most emotionally devoid constructed ideas come out of our mouth. You have to give the impression that you are holding back. An even better tip is to be telling a story then end it quickly when you get even the slightest hint she may not be fully enjoying what you are saying.

2. Make sure to use conflicting body language

The number one way to come off creepier is to be sure to send mixed messages with your body language! Some of my favorites are:

Coming up close to a girl you want to talk to then not saying a thing till she talks to you.
Smiling while asking questions.
Keeping your expressions very neutral when giving compliments.
Facing her directly while inside her personal space.

Generally the more you can send conflicting messages the creepier it is for her. If your face is saying “I am not friendly, I am a cool intimidating guy”, while you are leaning over to touch too personally on the inside of her thigh because you are sitting too far away from her, that works perfect to creep her out!

3. Make sure you feign disinterest.

Nothing is creepier than a guy hanging around a girl he likes while trying to act like he doesn’t like her! It is really important to talk over your shoulder most of the time and act like you are in a rocking chair while sitting near her. If it seems like you might walk away any moment, especially when you are saying something important or she is, that will really get under her skin. Definitely make a wise crack about how you might not call her while getting her number!

4. Make forced facial expressions

Your face is the most efficient way to express non-verbal communication. Creeping people out is easy if you master this one! Either make no eye contact or hold it for uncomfortably long periods of times. Don’t ever make good solid eye contact with short look away breaks every 5-10 seconds, that will give her the impression you are confident and assertive!

Smiling when there is no reason to smile and not smiling in reaction to something you like is also a great way to confuse people about how you feel. It is probably best to just keep a calm CIA operative demeanor your entire conversation.

5. Inappropriate casual touch is the fastest way to make her skin crawl

The insides of peoples personal space are sure fire ways to creep someone out by touching. Inner arms, inner legs, stomach, the sexy parts, necks, faces. Touching these before you have established some romantic rapport with her is straight to the creepy zone. Stay away from casually touching the upper outside of the arm, that is the quickest way to make a complete stranger feel comfortable around you. Instead of lightly touching there with the back of your hand you should slowly slide your hand down that part (or any part) of her. Tapping or rubbing is the best way to turn any good casual touch to annoying or even getting you thrown out by the bouncer.

The art of being creepy is really not that hard. Avoid confidently expressing yourself, feel that insecurity making you act strange and even creating involuntary ticks and movements. Be careful about saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing and being ok with that. Confidently knowing you will make mistakes and not worrying about them will quickly erase all the creepiness from your vibe. I’ve seen the most creepy insecure guys literally turned into confident cassanovas overnight. All it took was some practice making mistakes and being ok with them.

Good luck on getting your Creepy On!

As we leave the Shadow Government’s safe house after consuming mass amounts of drugs, porn, and declaring exactly how to best make use of dead babies, the instinct to jump at every noise does not leave us. A late night safeway run to pick up some neglected items for both of us ends in us running for the car after what sounds like a high pressure squirt gun. The instinct to duck and cover plus the paranoia of this game may not leave us for some time. Life is inexorably changed, pulling up to our house we still by instinct check the bushes and almost make another pass when we see someone outside the apartment. Walking up to my door unarmed makes my insides crawl with apprehension. I remind myself there is no one left to kill us, we stand in glorious victory.

The events of sudden death start anticlimactically after spending 41 hours in three days on roofs and in trees staking out a target who would not come out of her house. She is disqualified for lack of kills and we receive her target. We knew him well as she also decided to leave town for the weekend leading up to what we thought would start sudden death and us temporarily assigned to him until she returned.

Sudden death was delayed in essence to give us a chance to break the kill record, however our target chose to hide and be disqualified rather than hunt and be hunted. The results were a highly condensed sudden death round in which we feared things would result in random cowboy antics winning rather than our style of precision execution; oh how I hate to so accurately prognosticate the future.

Thursday morning my teammate and I take the day off work to take advantage of the time we have. We scour the net for clues as the blog post at streetwars.net gives us only the details that our targets still stand but we must go after the supreme commander.

Shadow Gov Tweet 08:29 4.29.10
Just got to SF. First night itinerary: Pick up shemales Drink Eat drugs Hide bodies Kill some punk ass streetwars players Repeat”

We spend the entire day waiting for a clue to appear so that we could begin planning our strike. We hand out my business card to every porn shop, strip club, and brothel in the city with the request of a call if they see men with squirt guns. I am still getting calls from the crazy strippers and whores (guess i’ll have to capitalize on that after some much needed sleep). We go stake out Diva’s the local Shemale bar and get our junk groped by ladies so attractive you might forget they are actually men. The clue doesn’t come until the evening and we feel frustrated for having to wait all day for nothing.

Shadow Gov Tweet 21:00 4.29.10
Big trouble in little china tonight. Leaving soon

We try to look past the obviousness that they are going to China Town and decipher more of a clue. There it is, we search “big trouble” in google maps and the bar Li Po comes up. We get into position choosing to attempt to follow rather than try a frontal assault. We could not imagine the carnage that was about to ensue.

I smoke a cigarette in a dark alley in view of the street when none other than Agent Pink, our most admired past target walks around the corner. We lock eyes and turn and walk away from each other. My heart sank. Damn out of all the people to be Supreme’s bodyguards why did it have to be Pink? He out of everyone had shared in our stories and he even worked with us to bring down Sniper415, he was going to be a problem and the only agent alive that could see through our disguises.

I called my partner in almost heart-stopping panic as I hail a cab to my vehicles location; it was time for a disguise change. I don my homeless outfit and drive to China Town as I reconnect with my partner over our com system. My partner KillerBeer is in the Bar across from Li Po, a safe zone keeping watch. That safe zone we would come to find out came at a price.

I park the car and start the homeless man shuffle checking trash cans as I go, armed secretly with my CO2 powered stealth liquidating device and my guns in a beat up back pack. As I approach Supreme’s location from the south and down the street, I see my partner standing outside the bar and a large black man ominously pause in front of him only 15 yards away. Every muscle in my body starts to tense as I see the man who we would later ID as LeonSF throw the first balloon.

“It is over, oh shit, I will be solo now, my partner is a goner.” my internal voice screams as I watch the first balloon hurtle at Killer Beer.

In an almost Matrix like fashion KillerBeer shifts to the side and the balloon whizzes by him and hits the wall 6 feet behind. In almost less than a heartbeat another balloon is being shot with deadly accuracy at his feet. I see Killer beer pull an amazing ninja reflex style jump and the balloon strikes under and slightly behind his feet shooting the water clearly behind him. The chase ensues.

I never knew my partner could run so fast and what struck me as inappropriately funny was I never could of imagined a man with that much mass such as LeonSF be able to move that fast either. In almost seconds later I see my partner run around the block and back into the bar, the nearest safe zone. I get a call from him from the bathroom as he inspects himself for any drop of water indicating he was hit. Although I saw the balloons come close I was pretty sure he had dodged them unless there was a stray water drop defying the laws of physics. He was dry, for now.

I started taking a position not in attempt to ascertain Supreme’s location but rather to call the coast is clear for an escape. The street was swarming with rogue agents, bodyguards, and lookouts. This was an impossible strike location. Soon Aquamen and Thumbmaster would find this out for themselves as they would become annihilated by the horde of angry rogues we and the other surviving teams left in our trail of executed agents.

When the coast was clear my partner sprinted out the bar, losing his fedora in the process, narrowly avoiding detection and pursuit.

We re-group for awhile and fall back. We see the crowd disperse with Supreme escaping into the night, first to be a ghost in the day and that night to take up residence in the bar with a legion of defense; tonight would not be the night.

Peter Stevens Tweet 11:29 4.30.10
Guess who’s in town?

I sit distracted at work wishing we had taken today off rather than the day before. Knowing the venerable Agent Peter Stevens was in town did nothing to ease my fears. Several clues come through twitter during the day, including a picture of a mural we identify as outside the safe house.

Leaving work my adrenaline is in full swing, tonight had to be the night. We swing by our target’s location to retrieve a dead GPS tracking device that we were unable to capitalize on and head to the safe house for a stakeout. Sitting in the car chugging energy drinks, eating cliff bars, and sneaking off to stealth piss occasionally felt all too familiar.

We see agent Pink’s car outside the safezone and verify the conclusion that would be the form of transportation for Supreme Commander. After a couple hours of waiting we see Agent Pink’s car drive by and we tail them. I easily catch them but soon realize they are on to us and start evasive maneuvers, Pink knew what my car looked like since we had been lying in wait in the trunk for hours on end in front of his house.

Shadow Gov 21:00 4.30.10
Just got out with no sweat. Heading to the Lone Palm

The clues were becoming less cryptic than the already obvious hints we had seen before. My fear of this turning into a cowboy western style shootout were becoming a reality. We rush to the location just moments before the legion of Rogues and Bodyguards. An unlocked gate to the next door stairwell reveals a sniper position and better yet access to the roof of the bar. We could have no better luck in a perfect strike position. My only hope was our remaining competition, Wildcard would be neutralized before we could pull off our precision strike.

We were right about the Cowboy antics as we soon see Wildcard parked 2 cars down from the bar in plain view being taunted by the agents outside the bar. How was he supposed to expect to get supreme with this tact? I felt confident the bodyguards would neutralize him instantly and we would have the shot when Supreme exited the vehicle and entered the bar. The mental scenario was being played out in my head and the squadron of rogue agents were feeling the sting of my watery death from above after double tapping Supreme.

Finally I see Supreme roll up and Wildcard sprint out of his car instantly being squirted by the crowd of agents, however right as I am about to take the shot while Supreme’s door opens, he is spooked by Wildcards cowboy antics and never fully opens the door. DAMN!!!!! The perfect opportunity lost. He was in my crosshairs and about to be done for. The anguish of knowing Wildcard screwed up a perfect precision hit was almost too much. When would we get a better opportunity?

Shadow Gov 23:30 4.30.10
500 club suckaz

My spirits were crashing worse than a crackhead after running out of his fix. 500 club provided no such precision location to hit from. We decide to take our frustration out with a gangster style driveby. I crack the hatchback open and lay in the back. We drive around and soak about 30 people outside the bar. We realize that likely most of them were innocents and very few agents were actually standing there. Regardless a little death and mayhem lifts my spirit.

We look at the map and surmise the next most likely bar for Supreme to hit was Elixir. Perfect, there is a large tree outside; I scale the tree with only the one confused patron noticing me do it. We wait. After about thirty minutes we get a text. Delerium; damn not the right bar but we sprint over there hoping to find another elevated location. We get a break, there is a tree outside the bar, except it is surrounded by about 40 people.

As we stand there scoping out the situation Mustache Commander rolls up on foot but doesn’t notice us. I have to go now if this is ever going to work. I quietly tell the people next to us our plan and encourage them to watch the results instead of revealing our plan. With almost in-human speed I vault into the tree. My partner does the most important and dangerous job of damage control quietly quelling the reaction from the 15 odd people who do see me get into the tree. Although I was the one who got the kill, as it was in this entire game we worked as a team united as Team ShadowWarriors, selflessly assisting each other for the maximum advantage not the ego of the kill.

I see Wildcard again pacing in the crowd in front of the bar. I contact my partner to take him out so he doesn’t fuck up this last chance at a kill. Killerbeer rolls up amidst fear of being instantly neutralized when recognized by the protective agents. Two shots in the center of mass Wildcard was dead, so we thought. He and a nearby Agent Peter Stevens notifies KillerBeer that we were no longer allowed to target each other. This was news to us and we had never been notified, last minute rule change number one that would fuck us.

I remain in the tree waiting for Supreme to come in the bar. I look down and realize the getaway car was parked right below me with an agent armed to the teeth sitting in full view of me, waiting at the car door. I realized Supreme must already be inside. The bar starts closing and people start exiting. I hear over my com system my partner witnessing Wildcard actually trying to physically push Supreme outside the bar so he could get the kill. My partner intervenes with his body. Wildcard leaves and signals for his car to be brought around and my partner stood on the sidewalk discussing the situation with Mustache Commander trying to clarify what rules have changed without us noticing.

Supreme finally exits the bar. As his foot hits the sidewalk a stream water flows from my position in the tree to hit him square in the chest. I watch as it takes him what seemed like endless moments to identify my direction while my finger never lets off the trigger. Every agent on the sidewalk turns to look up and witness the glorious hit being executed.

I triumphantly climb down from the tree to revel in our victory, all too soon to be frustrated by yet another last minute rule change.

As I stand on the sidewalk, legs shaking in elvis fashion from the motionless perch in the tree, the Shadow Government informs me of the conundrum. They had declared the game paused only moments before I shot Supreme, being so focused on the shot I never felt my phone vibrate, my buttocks numb from being jammed in the crook of the tree.

The decision much to our dismay was yet another hoop for us to jump. Myself, Wildcard, and KillerBeer would be texted the location of Supreme at a nearby park. The first to kill him wins. This frustratingly meant KillerBeer and I would for the first time be against each other. For only one assassin can win the tournament.

We drive close to a few parks in anticipation of the incoming location. Not knowing where it would be, we decided to try to get ourselves centrally located in the city. The tact worked as we were only a 5 minute drive from Alamo Sq when we got the text. We race to the location our hearts heavy with the thought that we would be against each other for the first time. A rule I highly disagree with that was part of this StreetWars Tournament. How could I spend every waking moment crouched on rooftops and in trunks with my partner yet now turn on him. We played as a team we should have been able to win as a team. Alas we prepared ourselves for battle.

I dropped KillerBeer off with a last farewell and good luck on the southeast corner of the park and circled to the northwest corner and parked. I sprinted from the car and ran through the park from shadow to shadow. Two men on a bench soon were liquidated, damn innocents; I retreated to the cover of darkness. My legs now burning with adrenaline and muscle fatigue I pressed on circling a child’s play area. I double back and work my way along a brush line in the blackness of shadow.

I hear a noise and instinctively shoot, there crouched was Supreme Commander, wet by my gun. Wildcard runs up only 30 seconds later complaining he just got to the park. He turns around and leaves, his body language screaming in frustration and defeat. I see almost a sense of release wash over him as the realization that the madness and paranoia that is StreetWars is finally over. No longer do we have to “Live in Fear”. Victory is mine, a bittersweet moment that should have been ours as a team, but in essence is ours regardless. 9 kills, 4 weeks victory is ours.

Yours in Blood and H2O

Agent DeadSpace
Team ShadowWarriors
Equal share of the credit going to teammate KillerBeer
Winner of April 2010 San Francisco StreetWars Tournament

Learn how to have success with women in 3 dates. Part 1 gives first date advice and first date tips.

How to Avoid the #1 Turn Off for Women: Neediness

• Learn the 4 ways you are communicating a Needy Vibe that you aren’t even aware of!
• Destroy Every Trace of the Needy Vibe so you don’t screw it up!
• Get the next Date, Get the Relationship you want!
• Instantly Be More confident! (without being a jerk)

This 1.5hr Teleworkshop will be focused on eradicating all traces of a Needy and Weak Vibe!

If you are saying this doesn’t apply to you, I guarantee you are making one of these mistakes. 90% of guys do, even if they are successful with Women!

Ever wonder why you are not making it to the second date? Have no problem dating but ruin it before it turns into a relationship? You Need this information.

Guaranteed money back if you don’t learn something from this Teleworkshop!

5 Spots Left – Sign Up NOW!

We will cover:

What is Supplication
– How to avoid supplication
– Supplication vs Shit Tests
– Handling Shit Tests
– Saying No confidently

The Needy Vibe
– 4 Areas You communicate neediness
-Compliments
-Supplication
-Texting and Phone Calls
-Revealing Your Interest in Her

The Art of Compliments
– Compliments that turn her off
– Structure of an effective compliment
- The foolproof method to give a perfect attraction inducing compliment
- Uncovering the compliment she has been waiting for someone to give her

Transitioning to a Relationship
– Keeping your Independence
– Preventing Attraction Burn Out
– How to be Romantic without supplicating
– How to re-ignite lost interest

This is an Interactive workshop! There are only 8 spots available total and many of them are already gone!

Note this button is now fixed. There was an error that added shipping to the price that should be fixed now if you have tried to purchase this previously

This is an interesting question. I have seen this a few times from women in my own experience as well as with clients.

Honestly that is my question, why did she answer the phone if she doesn’t want to commit to a date?

Answer 1:

I don’t bother trying to figure out what women are thinking. I try to do it all the time but I find that my success rate is always better when I don’t.

Here is what I do:

Me: So why don’t we grab a drink on thursday night.
Her: Ya, thursday doesn’t work for me.

Me: No worries, how about sunday evening?
Her: Actually I can’t do it then either.

Me: Ok your turn, you choose a day

Put the ball back in her court. Be assertive by picking times without doing the whole “when are you free” game.

If she still doesn’t commit to a time be ready to walk away. Not in a rude way, just confident that you aren’t going to play the game. If she answered the phone she likely wants to go out with you. There could be lots of reasons why she is hesitating, from thinking she wants to get to know you over the phone first, that she is also kind of dating someone else, to just wanting the attention without committing to it. It really doesn’t matter what her reasons are, your action is the same. Put it on the line.

Me: Well, then I guess you will just have to call me the next time your free. It was cool meeting you if I don’t catch you maybe we’ll bump into each other again soon.

This is very polite, not defensive or overtly distancing yourself, but it says something very clear without shoving it in her face; “I’m about to be gone and you will lose this opportunity.”

You will be amazed the lengths women will go to get you back to pursuing them even if they are not that interested. It is human nature to want to be the one who is being pursued.

Christian is an old friend and we used to work together when I was a senior instructor over at Charisma Arts. TheSocialMan.com is a great resource and I encourage you all to check it out.

Here is a video introduction and some QnA I did for them that I think you will all enjoy.

However don’t let the topic fool you there are some great tips for understanding how to increase your charisma!

Just a few of the concepts we cover:

• The 3 main motivations of both men and women
• The Core concept of developing Charisma
• How to use your Charisma to develop relationships with clients and customers
• How to start the process of building a coaching business

Check it out at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/CharismaLive/2009/11/04/The-Business-of-Charisma

I know when I first started to uncover the secrets to better conversation with women the number one thing that was screwing me up was this simple mistake.

Me: Where are you from?

Her: I’m from San Diego

Me: Cool, so your from San Diego. What brought you up here?

Her: I got a job in advertising up here.

Me: So your in advertising huh?

Notice the problem? Notice the problem? It’s as bad as a TV sitcom repeat playing over and over. Stop repeating what she says, she was the one who said it, she knows what she just said.

I did this because I was filling space. It is a lot more comfortable to let my mouth run on autopilot and repeat the last thing she said then be confident in a pause to collect my next thought. T

The problem is that by repeating what she just said you aren’t fooling anyone. She can see that you are just filling space and time and it will make it seem like you are more nervous

How do you answer these from a girl?:

“Will you buy me a drink?”

“Are you hitting on me?”

“We are lesbians”

“Fuck off!”

Learn in our interactive Tele-workshop just how to Have a Response to Anything! Never again feel like you don’t know what to say in response.

The art of knowing what to say in any situation will immediately help you develop more confidence. Imagine never walking away defeated again from an approach.

This is no normal Teleseminar! – This is a Tele-Workshop!

I’ll bring you through a very simple 3 part technique that will guarantee you will always handle the situation with Confidence and Charisma.

We will also be roleplaying and going through specifically designed exercises to help you develop this skill as a group. You will learn along with others on the call and together hone eachothers skill by doing!

There are only 6 spots available – So sign up now!

икони

Here are some of the subjects we covered in the interview:

• How to speed up your learning process through coaching and accountability
• How to build a cycle of success that will get you quicker results
• How to have engaging conversations
• What to do when a conversation stalls
• How to build rock-solid confidence
• Killer advice for beginners and guys just getting into the game
• Fashion tips for looking your best and standing out from the crowd
• Why looks don’t matter in pickup

…And more!

You can Download the Full Interview there.

Read more: http://www.seductionlist.com/charming-geek-interview/

Edward Brown is a fellow coach focusing on Executive Coaching over at Core Edge Consulting at www.core-edge.com

Tune in as we talk about the definition of Charisma and how to start working out your social muscles. Find out whether we conclude whether Charisma is a learn-able trait or whether you are out of luck as an introvert. I also cover some great techniques to use in the workplace and how to adapt my method to a professional setting!

The most helpful thing for me to get me rolling when I enter a bar or somewhere alone is to get into conversation really quickly. Standing around only erodes my confidence and I end up usually going home with my tail between my legs. Being a social guy means I am not just talking to the cute girls but that I talk to anyone. Women notice who you have been talking to in an evening and it is important to be social with everyone. Approaching a couple guys I find is the easiest way to get me in the zone and even help pick me up if i just got rejected by a girl.

Approaching guys is not the same as going up to a woman. I like to act casual and wander up as if I was not directly planning on coming straight up to them. Don’t do the creepy sneak over, just be casual. My no-fail opener is always:

“Hey, how’s your luck with the ladies tonight?”

It never fails. Guys love to talk about women as much as women like to talk about sleep over pillow fights in their lingerie. (Don’t even think about breaking my fantasy about what women really talk about in a comment on this post!)

I usually choose the guys in the corner, the wallflower guys. These guys are trying so hard to look cool and hope someone comes over to talk to them they are usually a great start. From there I usually feel more confident and will go approach a woman using them as my hub. You know they’ll still be standing there when you are done. If you get rejected then you can go back and laugh about it with them. If you are successful get a few girls you just met to come over and meet them, or invite the guys to come meet the girls. You will look good no matter how socially awkward the guys are because you are making introductions. That makes you more friendly and outgoing than anyone in that bar. That leaves an impression!

So don’t ignore the guys next time you go out to meet women. Strike up a conversation with my never fail opener: “Hey, how’s your luck with the ladies tonight?”

You look up and see it’s a call from her, that girl you met the other night and went out with once on what seemed at the time a very promising date. You immediately rush to answer it only glancing at the clock staring back at you blinking some time near midnight.

“Are you coming out? We are at Bar None playing beer pong, you should join us!” She slightly slurs into the phone over the sounds of drunken revelry in the background.

“Sure, I’ll be right there! Talk to you soon.” You reply running your fingers through your stylish bed head hairdo briefly glancing in the direction you hope your pants are. Thoughts of getting lucky, booty calls and a cute girl spur you to get out of bed and ignore your eight am business meeting tomorrow morning.

Parking was more of a pain than you thought it would be. You find yourself finally having your ID examined by the door guy, and walking into $2 beer night being bumped and pushed in every direction as you walk through the bar. Scanning the sea of faces you don’t see hers anywhere. After completing the circuit and almost having beer spilled on you twice you go back outside to call her.

“Hey where are you? I just got here.” You yell into the phone with your finger firmly stuck in your other ear.

She answers, “Oh, we decided to call it a night. I have to get up early tomorrow for work.”

Speechless you manage to stutter out, “Uh ok, well let’s get together soon.”

You have just been flaked on, and the worst part is you allowed it to happen. She is at home in bed by now and you are standing on the sidewalk like an idiot wondering if she likes you or not.

I have been there, thats how I know that even while standing there, you were likely not even that mad at her. Honestly she isn’t worth being mad at; you should be mad at yourself for not applying one simple rule:

Treat a woman no better or worse than one of your buddies.

I certainly wouldn’t get up and come out to join one of my guy friends if I am already in bed; in fact I wouldn’t even answer the phone. Why would you do that for a woman?

I am not saying don’t treat women well. I would do a lot for a friend of mine if he needed me, but he damn well be laying in a ditch somewhere if he is calling me past midnight on a tuesday evening for something.

The least attractive thing to a woman a man can do is not stand up for himself. As scary as it sounds to turn away a woman’s request and what she will think of you, she will admire you and be more attracted to you if you grow a backbone and stand up to her.

Women have an almost unconscious desire to test men sometimes. It can be as small as repeatedly asking for small favors at a time you have something else going on, to changing the music to something you don’t like in your car. Will you say how you feel? Will you tell her you can’t that you are busy, or ask to turn the station back you were enjoying that song? How long and how far will you let it go before she has completely emasculated you? There is no need to be rude when you do it, just simply stand up for yourself.

Emasculated: Answering the phone no matter what or when.
Confident: Answering when you are free and letting it go to voicemail when you are doing something or talking to someone.

Emasculated: Buying a drink for a girl you just met cause she asked you to. (worse if you buy her friends drink too)
Confident: Telling her you might after she gets to know you better, and actually buying her that drink later.

Emasculated: Paying for an extravagant dinner in hopes she will like you.
Confident: Paying for a meal because you invited her to dinner, but actually really being excited to try the restaurant yourself.

Emasculated: Agreeing to go out with her on a night you had previous plans because you will break them for her.
Confident: Choosing a night and time when you are free even if it has been a bit of trouble scheduling it for both of you.

Apply the rule to all of the above.

-If I am busy, I don’t stop what I am doing to take calls from my buddies, I call them back.

-I buy drinks for my friends because I know they will get the next round.

-I will often buy meals or coffee for a friend if I invited them out, not because I want them to like me but because they would do the same for me.

-I don’t pick restaurants I can’t afford to eat at to dine with friends.

Ask yourself, if your buddy treated you the same way how would you act? Don’t supplicate to women anymore, be a gentleman but have a backbone as well.

There are 5 spots available on this sundays 1.5 hr Tele-Workshop
on Relating and Deep Emotional Attraction.

This Month’s Topic is: Emotional Relating – Creating attraction so deep she will say “It is amazing we just met, I feel so connected to you!

• Actual exercises and roleplay to get you doing it correctly!
• Stop reading on how to establish good rapport, get actual feedback on how to do it!
• Learn what is TOO deep in rapport and how to connect while keeping it fun.
• Master the ultimate secret weapon – a system for making a compliment so good it that will make a woman instantly fall for you

Whether you are interested in getting a taste of what my coaching program is like (This call is included FREE in my monthly coaching program) or you want to take your Connection skills to the next level, come join us for this experiential learning experience.

You don’t just sit there and listen, we work together on exercises and role playing to improve everyone’s skillset.

Sign up soon though or the spots will all be filled!

Sunday 7/26 12:30pm PDT $27

Sign up now!

The call will be done over skype. Please have a current version installed and use headphones or a headset to reduce the echo. An alternate call in number is available on request.

Recently I stepped on the scale at my rock climbing gym and I weighed in at over 200 lbs. This definitely made me take notice. I think as guys we can really fool ourselves when it comes to how much weight we have gained. Suck it in a little more and loosen the belt another notch; men can gain 15-20 pounds fairly easily and not even need to buy new clothes.

One of my favorite bloggers and author of The Four-Hour Work Week, Tim Ferris had posted on his blog a while back How to Lose 20 lbs of Fat in 30 Days without doing any exercise. I said to myself “This month I am going to try this experiment and get back to my ideal weight.”

Not only did I lose 16lbs this month on this plan, I was never hungry, did not do any workouts beyond my normal activities, and I ate donuts, cupcakes, garlic fries, and drank like a fish in a beer aquarium.

The Diet

Pick a few meals and stick to them. Don’t try to get fancy or test the boundaries with what you can and can’t eat. The best success will come from sticking to the same meals for the month. Boring… Yes, but effective.

Lean Protein:

Chicken
Egg whites with 1 egg for flavor
Chicken
Lean Pork
Grass fed beef
Salmon or Tuna
Tofu

Vegetables:

Spinach
Salad greens
Broccoli
Brussel Sprouts
Baby Carrots
Artichoke Hearts
Zucchini
Summer squash
Peppers
Snow Peas
Green Beans
Just about any vegetable is fine
Eat high sugar/calorie content vegetables in small amounts like Tomatos, Peas, Beets, & Chick Peas.

Legumes:
Lentils
Soybeans (edamame)
Pinto Beans
Black Beans
Lima Beans

Mix and match all you want and eat until you are full but don’t over eat. If you get hungry again feel free to make a another meal. Be aware of the difference between hunger, and the feelings that can often be interpreted as hunger such as being thirsty or sugar and alcohol cravings. Fill up by eating more vegetables always. Veggies are so low in calories you can eat all you want.

Avoid all sugars and carbs. No fruit, wheat, bread, pasta, sweets, fried foods and try to keep your fat calories you ingest as low as you can. Also avoid milk due to lactose, a sugar as well. I avoided cheese as that was one of my major fat sources.

Feel free to have one glass of red wine an evening as the health benefits far outweigh any negatives on blood sugar.

The idea is that you are going to deprive your body of carbohydrates forcing it to burn fat. Even a small amount of sugar or carbs can ruin your entire days worth of work so don’t cheat!

Snacks:
Baby carrots
Edamame
Small amount of Hummus
Stevia sweetened hot coca
Unsweetened Chai tea with soy milk

Drink a lot of water. Burning fat will release a lot of metabolic waste and stored toxins in your body. You have to flush that out to keep your weight loss rate high. I tried to drink at least a half gallon of water a day or more.

Cheat Day!!!

One day a week have at it. Eat and drink whatever! This resets your metabolism and gets your body to forget that it is on a diet. After your cheat day is done your body goes back to burning fat even faster cause it hasn’t gotten used to the lack of carbs yet.

My first cheat day I ate five doughnuts and two cupcakes and was almost sick to my stomach I ate so much sugar. I didn’t want to see sugar for days afterwards and for the first time in my life i craved vegetables.

Stick to this plan and you will drop at least fifteen pounds. I lost 16 pounds in the month and feel and look fantastic. One of my weeks I didn’t lose a pound and these are the things I think I did wrong:

Avoid fake sweeteners other than stevia. I found out that the sugar free chocolate I was eating had maltodextrin and maltitol as sweeteners. Both while supposedly not affecting blood sugar, actually do have a glycemic response. Avoid splenda because of the maltodextrin. I was also even trying Truvia a mix of stevia and erythritol as a sweetener that week and that may or may not have contributed. Avoid anything with fructose or dextrose in it, they are also sugars. The other issue that week was I wasn’t drinking enough water and I really do believe this was a major cause of not losing any pounds.

Of course the weeks I was a bit more active I lost weight quicker so combining this with some light exercise will make it even more effective but for the sake of the experiment my exertion was limited to biking to where I was going a couple times a week, my weekly salsa class, and a couple outings of frisbee golf. The month overall was not that active physically for me.

If you do add exercise to your month then you can introduce some complex carbs in within 30 min of the end of your workout. Something like a no cheese whole grain crust pizza or a turkey sandwich on 7 grain bread. See Tim’s post for more on that.

Example Meals:

Eggwhite Veggie Omelette with tofu and salmon, with a side of Trader Joes cuban style black beans (my favorite of all the canned beans)

Grilled chicken (on the george forman grill), vegetable medley (frozen from TJ’s, Fat free Refried Pinto Beans

Canned Salmon in a salad with tofu, grilled tempe, red peppers, carrots, snow peas, artichoke hearts, heart of palm, with a little low fat Italian dressing. Side of black beans

Lean piece of grilled pork with asian style vegetable mix from TJ’s (omitting the sauce) and fat free refried black beans.

I pretty much ate those four meals the entire month mixing it up a bit with spices like cumin and balsalmic vinager or a curry powder.

Going out to eat can be challenging but I managed to go out at least a couple times a week to eat and even date a couple girls. There was a great custom sandwich salad place that I ate at on one date and I went on a picnic for another date bringing a grilled chicken and two pre-made salads with hummus and veggies for dipping (and crackers and a cupcake for her). Mexican places are another great place to eat because you can often swap rice for veggies and pass on the tortillas. If anywhere I cheated it was an occasional second glass of red wine.

The sugar cravings were the worst part of it for me but I found a killer way to beat those as well. I made a great hot chocolate chai sweetened from stevia. Stevia is one of the only completely natural non chemical sweeteners that doesn’t affect blood-sugar. Avoid the ones that are mixed with maltodextrin. I got the SweetLeaf brand Stevia because it doesn’t have the bitter after taste sometimes associated with Stevia. I would steep the chai first then add a spoonful of Cacao powder and sweeten to taste with Stevia.

The only other difficulty on the diet is handling beans three meals a day. Get yourself some Gas-X or Bean-o and you won’t be as gassy after your first week. In fact by the end of the month it was only my cheat days that actually gave me digestive difficulties. I also tended to find I was not as regular as I should have been so I would recommend a fiber supplement to help keep things moving as well as don’t slack on drinking enough water.

I affectionately called this my Trim-Down program since us guy’s don’t like saying we are on a diet. Over the course of a month I can’t imagine an easier way to make yourself look and feel better. I ate when I was hungry, still drank my irish heritage fill of alcohol each week, and just when I was getting sick of it my cheat day would come around and make me forget I was even on a diet.

Want to get more dates and more beautiful women? Losing that gut certainly will help a lot!

In general I feel we worry too much about our body language. Attempts to overtly correct it by thinking about the way we move and the way we stand often makes it worse because we become a caricature of ourselves. The insecurity in our body language wont be gone, it just gets perceived along with this stereotypical “alpha male” body language that many other companies teach.

The best way to develop good body language is to increase your confidence. When you stop caring what people think of you and you stop trying to be something other than you, that is when confidence will show through in your body language.

Despite this there are things we do that projects insecurity, neediness, or a strange vibe no matter how confident we are.

1. Eye contact

This is a big one. Insecurity is shown by not looking someone directly in the eyes while you are talking. If you spend the majority time speaking or listening while looking anywhere else that is a big red flag.

Conversely if you are holding sustained eye contact bordering on 3 seconds or more and it isn’t leading up to making out with her you are being too intense with your eye contact. I have met more guys who make this mistake “trying” to improve their eye contact than just about any other mistake. Make good eye contact, look away for just a brief second then return to their eyes.

2. The handshake

So much is perceived in a handshake. If you are shaking a woman’s hand in a weak way, it does not come off as gentle. Give a woman a firm handshake, it should be more firm than she is grasping yours but not in any way bone-crunching, save that for your buddies. Most men fall into being almost too gentle with their handshakes.

The distance you hands meet in relation to where you are is also a good indicator of your confidence. If you are bending over and stretching out your hand well past the halfway point you are demonstrating she has more value. If you are not extending your hand far enough to the middle you are demonstrating your insecurity and shyness. Approach, stand tall and extend your hand half way between you two. If there is another person to meet move your feet not just your hand to bridge the distance.

3. Posture

Everyone in the theatre, film, and television industry has known this for generations. The better your posture is the more confident you will appear. I regularly get surprised looks when I say my height, most assume I am much taller. Stand up straight and keep your shoulders back. If you have been going to the gym make sure you are stretching out your pectorals after lifting and working on the reverse fly to bring your shoulders back. A hunched forward weight lifter is not what you want to become.

4. Body Facing

The angle at which you are facing is an indicator of many things. Directly facing someone can be very intense, almost confrontational. I tend to generally meet someone head on then settle in to talking to them at about a ninety degree angle. If they are facing more toward you at times in the conversation when they are interested in what you say turn toward them more. If they are more relaxed or in a sitting position where they are facing out more at one hundred and eighty degrees (shoulder to shoulder) then mirror that a bit.

You don’t have to be a slave to this, but if the person is facing you and very into the conversation you shouldn’t be facing away from them and the opposite is true as well.

5. Being “Cool”

When I think of what is “Cool” I think of one of the guys at the bar sitting along the wall just hoping if they act cool enough someone might talk to them. Anyone I think is actually a cool guy is not trying to be cool, they are being warm and friendly.

If you take away all of the money and prestige who would you rather hang out with, Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs or Owen Wilson? Puff Daddy is quintessential cool, and I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but I would much rather hang out with a fun, humorous, warm guy like Owen Wilson any day of the week.

The cool factor comes from not needing any one woman’s attention. You are confident enough to get along with anyone and be a warm friendly guy without coming off being needy. So be warm, not “cool”. Leave the body rocking, over the shoulder introductions, and leaning away for the guys who are trying to conceal their insecurities.

Strong, confident, assertive body language comes from increasing your confidence. I have never seen a confident man have bad body language, yet I have seen a lot of guys coming off extremely creepy because of some advice they are trying to follow. These 5 basics will get you on the right track, the rest will take care of itself if you build the life you want to be living as a confident, involved, social man.икони

1. Order for her without coming off like a misogynist.

Ask a woman what she wants or is going to order before the waiter comes (preferably after you have already decided your own order). When the waiter comes to get your order you can give him both of your orders.

You can even beat the waiter to the punch by asking her after your order “Is there anything else you would like?” and it gives her an option if she changed her mind.

2. Choose your seating location, don’t ask her to make your decision.

If you are going to a bar, theatre, or anywhere else where you have a choice of seats, choose confidently where you want to sit. Start walking over to a spot and say, “Let’s sit over there.”

Remember if a woman doesn’t want to do something it is her job to say “No”, you don’t have to keep checking in with her to see if everything you are doing is ok.

3. Assume she will, don’t ask permission

Ask her out by saying: “Thursday night at 8pm, let’s go to my favorite bar in the city for a drink.”

Avoid “Would it be ok if I asked you out? Or got your number?”

Tell her: “It was really cool meeting you, I’d like to get your phone number”

Avoid “What are you doing this week, would you like to go out with me?”

Say to her “I’d like to take you out, how bout I pick you up at 7 on Friday?”

Confidently assume she will say yes and go from there, the rest will fall into place if you approach it this way.

4. Ask a woman out on the phone, not text.

Get her on the phone to ask her out. Doing it over text is such a cowardly way to do it. The only time I break this rule is if she always texts me back instead of returning my calls, then it is fine. Also this doesn’t apply after you have gone on more than a few dates.

5. Be busy, don’t drop everything for her!

Nothing is worse than her knowing you have every night available to accommodate her schedule. Being assertive also means you have a life that you enjoy. Don’t break previous plans to go out with a girl EVER! Leave room in your schedule for her but don’t cancel plans. Instead make sure you make plans with her early in the week before your schedule (or hers) fills up.

Being assertive with women is not about being overbearing. It is saying what you want and leaving room for her to object or provide an alternative if she needs to. Don’t be a jerk about it, just be more decisive. Stating “I think we should go to….” is always better than getting stuck in the rut of “What would you like to do?”

Here are some of my strategies to keep myself confident and in a great mood to date and meet more women:

Be Busy!

One of the worst things for your confidence is sitting home alone making excuses for why you aren’t happy. I find if I have more than a couple evenings a week where I am just having “me” time my social circle starts shrinking and I get more depressed. The busier I am usually the better I am at planning outings and staying connected with friends.

Start planning regular nights you go take a class or go do a new hobby. Not only will you meet new people trying new things always builds confidence faster than just about anything. When you go do something send out a mass text inviting people. Even if no one shows invitations are just banking social karma. You will get more invitations the more you make.

Have a back-up plan.

Nothing gets me worse than a last minute cancellation. Then I am stuck with a whole evening that I got ready to go out and I end up sitting home watching movies. Don’t let some stupid flake ruin your vibe, send out the last minute calls to see what friends are doing. Also try to find one regular event on each night of the week that you can use as a back up plan. Here in San francisco I can find a salsa class on every night of the week, as well as classes at my gym, martial arts studio, indy film theater, comedy clubs, music venues, and even museums. Make some calls and if no one is in, make yourself go anyway!

Get the phone number… from him!

Single women aren’t the only people you want to get phone numbers from. Don’t forget to exchange contact info with cool guys, couples, and even women in relationships. Building a strong social circle is key to being happy and confident. Add them to your mass invites and soon you might find yourself pleasantly surprised when their cute single friends start showing up too. Here is more on how to build a strong social circle: http://www.charismatips.com/building-a-social-circle-2/

Get Your Conversational Skills Warmed Up.

Getting in a good mood to go out and meet people is a crucial element to being on your game. Get a pre-outing routine like listening to your favorite music or listening to a good comic to amp you up. Call a couple buddies to join you and even if they don’t they will get you talking.

Start off easy!

Don’t just go walk up to the hottest girl you see the moment you get there. Start off easy and go talk to some friendly people. One of the best ways I’ve found to get myself on the right track (even if I’ve just been shot down a few times) is to go find a couple of the wall flower guys standing in the corner. Ask them as an opener “Hey guys, how’s your luck with the ladies tonight?” First off they will know you are not gay, secondly their luck will likely be more pathetic than yours. Giving someone else encouragement often gets you in a better mood than you could imagine.

The other benefit of this is that the guys you meet will likely still be sitting there and you can come back and use them as a comfortable place to come back to when you are done talking with another group. Maybe even try to introduce some new people to them and you will all of a sudden be the guy that knows everyone!

Don’t Crawl Back Under Your Rock!

I talk to so many guys who are having trouble and are discouraged with their dating success and in reality it boils down to one thing. They get a bit of rejection or have a bad date/interaction and instead of picking themselves back up and get back out there they sulk. There is no confidence under that rock of yours! Come out and force yourself to get out and be more social.

Learn how to dramatically improve your dating skills in just 90 days. Over this 3-month period we’ll work together in both group sessions and in 1:1 individual sessions to help you learn everything you need to know to be more successful in your romantic life.

In The Art of Flirting Program, you’ll get the real-life experience, practice, support and motivation that you need for dating success, unlike other courses where you simply listen to a speaker tell you what you need to know and then send you on your way, I am committed to your success, AND if you are just as committed, I know that we will achieve it together!

$247/mo for 3 months

Next session starts in July and there are only 4 spots available. Sign up now!

If you sign up a friend before july 1st you both get $50 off your first month!
This course is for both Men and Women.

The Art of Flirting: How to Successfully Flirt and Get More Dates

Program Description:

Learn how to dramatically improve your dating skills in just 90 days. Over this 3-month period we’ll work together in both group sessions and in 1:1 individual sessions to help you learn everything you need to know to be more successful in your romantic life. In The Art of Flirting Program, you’ll get the real-life experience, practice, support and motivation that you need for dating success, unlike other courses where you simply listen to a speaker tell you what you need to know and then send you on your way, I am committed to your success, AND if you are just as committed, I know that we will achieve it together!

Program Format:

We will begin each month with a 3-hour group session where we will review the primary skills and strategies you will be working on for the month. Since you can learn much from you peers, you’ll also share and hear about the victories and stumbling blocks of your fellow group members. Each week you will get specific lessons, missions, and exercises. If you complete all of your missions you will get a very special reward each month. We will schedule 2 half hour phone consults where I will personally critique your conversation and dating skills and help you understand from beginning to end how to cultivate the three tenets of success; Confidence Assertiveness and Choice. Also you will have 30 min phone time you can use in whole or parts for any questions or issues that come up.

Program Content:

A maximum of eight people will be accepted to each session. Sign up soon to reserve your spot! A three month commitment is required.

Month 1: Your Confidence is Sexy!

Group Meeting – 3 Hours
- We will be covering the following topics:

• Start conversations anywhere with anyone
• Express yourself in an attractive confident way
• Create intense attraction
• Get the signals right — figure out when they’re really interested and how to move forward
• Set yourself up for relationship success — from the beginning
• Never run out of things to say
• Understand what your non-verbal body language is really saying about you
• Take the lead in group conversations

Week 1 – Know Thyself
Discover who you are and what you have to offer. By completing an in-depth questionnaire, you’ll begin to discover how to be truly confident, be comfortable with you who are and what you’re all about. Dating success doesn’t mean changing who you are but rather changing how you perceive yourself.

Week 3 – Project Extreme Confidence
This week with my help you are going to create a program to develop extreme confidence. We will personalize a program to enrich your life. Rededicate yourself to and discover new hobbies, interests, and adventures that will make you more interesting and passionate in your life. Attract the person you want to be with by being the person you know you can be.

Month 2 – Flirting and Connecting 101

Group Meeting – 3 Hours
- We will be covering the following topics:

• Get your flirt on, learn how YOU can start flirting with ease.
• Locate and meet someone you are really looking for!
• Have more in common with anyone by relating on an emotional level
• Deal with a lack of interest and things around
• Respond to anything unexpected they say

Week 1 – Get out there!
Get out there and meet more people!. Meeting people is easier than you could imagine, I will show you how. Embark on specially prepared individualized Action Missions. You will be going to the places with the kind of people you want to meet and taking steps to engage them or getting them to engage you in conversation.

Week 3 – Make it happen!!
– Time to make things happen. This week you will be pushing your limits and verbalizing what you want. No more nebulous friend-zone relationships, no more wishing they knew how you felt. Learn how to make it clear that you want romance, not just another friend. The missions this week will involve you being more assertive and defining your relationships you have begun to cultivate. For Women I work with you on how to gently encourage men to be more assertive with you and how you can still be assertive without intimidating or turning him off.

Month 3

Group Meeting – 3 Hours
- We will be covering the following topics:

• Creating a multitude of choice in your romantic life, no longer feel like you are limited in your dating choices
• See how to cultivate better and more choices in your romantic life
• How to start a solid relationship
• Understanding how to bring up Marriage, Kids, or other relationship needs

Week 1 – Create the social circle you always wanted
Nothing is more unattractive than a person who has no other life than the guy/girl he is dating. A rich fulfilling social life is a major part of the three tenets. This week you will learn how to explode your social circle. Your missions this week will involve adding both men and women to your social circle.

Week 3 – Master your own Destiny

– This week we will be covering what to do from meeting to well… wherever you want to take it. We will clear up what has been stopping you and make sure you are clear on the process of taking basic conversation to the first date and beyond. Also learn how to manage a full rich dating life without ever lying or hiding the fact that you now have a choice in the people that you date. I develop a weekly focus program specifically for you and your specific issues for the future. This weekly program will be the basis of any future work we do together.
In this time we well review your progress and identify your weak areas for future work.

Your Investment:

Your investment for this program is $247 a month. Your enrollment will be renewed automatically each month over the course of 3 months. You can cancel at any time. Unused phone consultation time does not accrue or carry over month-to-month.

Next session starts in July!

If you sign up a friend before July 1st you both get $50 off your first month!

Click here if you are interested in our Distance Coaching Program

Check out their podcast on Qualifying and Screening:

http://www.thesocialman.com/podcast-screening-and-qualifying

Listen in as I cover the Learn the secrets of creating deeper attraction. Beyond playful banter and teasing there is a deeper rapport based attraction that establishes that “I can’t stop thinking about him!” feeling. Lock in that emotional connection that makes her feel like you are so incredibly different from every other guy and you have so much in common (even when you don’t).

We will be covering:

How to have everything in common with anyone.

How to unlock the interesting things about her.

Learn to be intriguing and captivate everyone.

Create intense deep rapport without it being TOO heavy.

And More!

Join us for this one hour Teleseminar from Dan M (Socialhitchhiker) from CharismaTips.com and learn the secrets to Deep Attraction.

As men we are hardwired to chase and try to win the trophy. We don’t care that the gold color on the trophy is just painted plastic. The same applies to women. If they meet our initial qualifications, little will change our minds about whether we want to pursue them or not. We gave them an elevator up onto a pedestal and her approval is our medal and trophy that we will try for at all costs.

The problem is that the view of you from up there isn’t that attractive. Women are told so many times by our society that they do not fit the level of perfection they see in the movies and in magazines. When you come along and show such an intense interest she is so worried about being seen as who she is, flaws and all, once your fantasy of her is shattered she won’t even take a risk of that happening.

So what are we to do? Keep an eye out for her skeletons. Everyone has em. Remind yourself you don’t know her yet and she might end up being psycho of the year! Reel yourself back in, show more interest in her when she reveals things you like and don’t OVER compliment her when she is not giving you anything worth complimenting on.

I follow one simple rule. She gets no more and no less than any other girl I have dated that I was mediocre about. I have a particular woman in mind usually that I dated and did nice things for occasionally but in general didn’t go out of my way to try to impress. If I find myself going overboard and trying to impress her or acting too smitten, I reel it back. This doesn’t mean acting like an ass and not calling her back or not showing that you do want to see her, it is just a yardstick to avoid going overboard.

Good luck and keep her off your pedestal!

Learn all the steps you need to know in this one program. This is the place to start to take control back of your dating life. Know what to say and what to do from walking up and opening your mouth to sealing the deal.

In this product I teach you the basic and advanced techniques and methods that have brought me and thousands of my clients success in their dating and romantic lives.

• -How do I start a conversation with a woman I don’t know?

 

• -How do I flirt?

 

• -When do I know when the right time to kiss her is?

 

• -How do I know if she likes me as more than just a friend?

 

• -What do I do if I run out of things to say?

 

• -How do I get her phone number and what do I do if she doesn’t answer or call me back?

 

• These and other questions are all answered in the Audio Workshop.

 

Get a complete picture of how to be more successful with women

I don’t hold back anything from you and this is the very information myself and my clients have used countless times to attract and keep a woman coming back for more.

I take everything I learned from my own personal dating success, and coaching hundreds of men over the years to do the same, and have distilled it into an easy to understand and use Audio Workshop.

All of the information you need to be more successful with women is in this one low priced CD.

All of my other products, courses, and coaching go back to the techniques and methods taught in this CD and simply expand upon, diversify, and go further in depth on the basic principles I will teach you here.

I don’t believe in the teaser product. I want you to get more information than you know what to do with in this product. I want you to succeed and have you invite me to your wedding! Or at least your next trip to the playboy mansion -grin-.

Get a Free Preview!

Downlod one most powerful chapters and receive our newsletter with tons of great articles and special discounts on future coaching and products.

Dating Decoded might be giving away too much!

After sending out the product for feedback to some of my peers and former clients I got similar feedback from almost every single person.

“Are you sure you should be including EVERYTHING into this one product? Maybe you should split it into three or four products and sell them all separately. It is so COMPLETE what will you do for future products?”

It made me stop to think, “Am I making a huge mistake by giving it all away?”

Maybe I am being foolish, but I don’t want to sabotage your success just to increase my profits. I have always dreamed of creating this product so when I started working with my clients they would have a complete picture of everything I teach and we can start from APPLYING it, rather than learning it. This product is my COMPLETE method, I don’t hold anything back from you.

Take this opportunity, this product may just be TOO good and my marketing people may tell me to only offer it to my 1:1 coaching clients!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How is this product any different from all of the other dating products out there?

 

• This product unlike others give you the complete picture from approaching a woman for the first time with ease to my five steps to phone success and even sure fire techniques to kiss a woman. This is not a teaser product, if you don’t feel you get a 100% complete method with nothing missing you can ask for your money back. Your success is my motivation, I want you to have all the skills and tools you need.

   

  Unlike traditional dating advice I actually give you techniques with examples on how to use them in real situations to improve your dating. I don’t just talk about the mistakes you are making I help you fix them with surgical precision.

   

  Unlike pick up artists and the seduction community everything I teach could be read by the girl you are pursuing and it would work, even if she knew exactly what you were doing. There are no manipulative lines or tricks.

   

  When you implement the techniques and information in this product it will be the most attractive you showing up every time you meet a woman. Never blow another opportunity!

Q: Is this product just for geeks, guys who don’t get it, guys who just want to be a little bit better with women or will it work on really beautiful hot women?

 

• Teaching guys who are good at dating is easy. Even just a few tips from this product will dramatically increase even their results. Taking guys who have admitted they are clueless and giving them amazing successful dating lives is what I specialize in.

   

  The most incredible thing is that the guys I work with don’t just become sort-of successful. They are dating the most beautiful women they have ever seen.

   

  This product talks not only about how to just get a date, but how to be successful with the most beautiful intelligent confident women you can find. Manipulative tricks and memorized lines work on hot party girls, they don’t work on really high quality women that are smart.

   

  My method works not just on smart women, but it also teaches you how to connect, attract, and date beautiful women you have nothing in common with, even those hot party girls.

Q: Is this product just for guys who want to get more dates or will it work to get me a girlfriend, married?

 

• The first step is to establish a solid connection so she feels like you “get” her and understand who she is. There is nothing that feels better and more attractive in this world than when someone really “gets” you. This translates to setting up the stage for an amazing romantic relationship!

Q: Does this method only work on women? Can I use it at work, social situations, with family, etc?

• Yes! In fact as a side benefit of becoming better with women you will see your social skills dramatically improve in all aspects of your life, from interviewing for a job, to having more friends. Even my Mom saw a dramatic difference in relating to me after I implemented these things in my life. My clients biggest complaint after learning this method is they don’t have time to hang out with all the friends they make and that keep calling them.

The Dating Decoded Audio Workshop is your first step to ending the confusion surrounding dating for you

Imagine what it would be like if you KNEW every step along the way from meeting, dating, and beyond? No more asking yourself “Why didn’t that work out?” or “What could I have done different to get a date with her?”

Take the first step to understanding the whole dating picture and order the Dating Decoded Audio Workshop!

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What does successful dating look like?

I would like to introduce you to Leon,

Leon came to me a few months ago one major dating issue, he was tired of working so hard to get a girl’s phone number only for her to never call him back. He was able to occasionally get contact information from a girls he met but never bring it any further.

Fast forward two months of working with me and learning my method, he had this to say:

Working with Dan and the progress I’ve made in a few weeks left me amazed at how effective his program is! I’ve seen my share of dating advice and still I was frustrated because I wanted to meet and connect with interesting, happy, attractive people in an honest and ethical way. When I tried, many of my conversation would stall after a couple sentences. Even when I met a woman and conversation flowed, she would come across to me as impassionate and boring and I felt disillusioned. And just as often she wouldn’t reciprocate my interest at all.

 

I’m left completely convinced now that interesting people are everywhere around me. And as I continue to follow the system Dan helped me set up, my social circle is expanding so fast that I now ask people for their last names to distinguish entries in my phone. I’m no longer scared of attending business networking events and I’m meeting more and more potential dating partners who reciprocate my interest. I’m ecstatic seeing that what I learned is sustainable and applicable in other interpersonal interactions in addition to dating.

Leon is now in a really happy long term relationship that he chose to get into. He chose her instead of just meeting a woman that was into him and letting it turn into a relationship because he couldn’t find better.

Finally put your dating life back on track and learn the skills you need so when you meet the woman of your dreams you won’t blow it!

If you aren’t completely satisfied with program we will give you a full refund!

Download your copy INSTANTLY right now!

 

Purchase now for $37.00

If you are not completely satisfied with this product you are eligible for a complete refund. We ask you simply to listen to it one more time and try to actually put some of the techniques into practice, you WILL see results. If you are still unhappy email me personally within 30days of purchase at dan@charismacoaching.org and I will personally refund your money.

• What do you talk about on the second date? Most of the good conversation topics seem to be covered.
• If you managed to kiss her where do you go from there?
• You are probably nervous about the pressure of it needing to be better than the first date.

The second date is a very crucial date. A lot of women will give a guy a second date even if the first date was only OK, but if it doesn’t go better than the first it will be the last. It is on you to make the second date more than just a “get to know you” interview.

I usually do coffee or drinks for the first date, some activity where we can still talk on the second, and then a dinner date (usually at my place with me cooking) on the third date. If you can make it through those three you are usually golden and dating after that gets easier. The second date is always the one that I find is the most critical though.

The first key is to never move backwards on your dates unless she is specifically trying to slow it down. I usually kiss her the first time I meet her or on the first date. Obviously if the first date was coffee, an opportunity for kissing may not be making its way in there and I add one more date, usually drinks before an activity date. If you kissed her on the first date and you guys get close yet you don’t go to the same level on the second date, you are moving backwards. The other bonus to doing an activity date like hiking, going to a museum, or even going downtown and wandering through the shops, is that it takes a little bit of the pressure off and the environment gives you stuff to talk about. Just avoid taking a class together or doing an activity where it is more about that than doing something while talking.

I find the crucial moment on the second date is the first moment you see her. You are both nervous about how the date is going to go, whether the same vibe and rapport will happen, and if the feelings for each other are going to grow a bit. Take the first moment you see her on that second date to establish firmly how the rest of the date is going to go. It is exactly like approaching a woman for the first time. That first vibe she sees at the approach will tell her how the rest of the interaction will go.

If you have kissed her on the last date, the moment you see her again warmly greet her with confidence and give her a big hug and then kiss her straight on the lips with a touch of a slow romantic kiss without trying to “make out with her”. Save the tongue for later boys, just no grandma peck. Make it a short kiss and be the one to end it first. If you haven’t kissed her take this opportunity to give her a hug than with your arms still around her waist look her right in the eyes and in a slightly seductive way for a moment. Then before it becomes the slightest bit awkward go back to the warm friendly vibe and say something like “let’s go!” and start heading toward where you are going for your date.

These are my suggestions of how to handle the first few moments of your second date, feel free to do whatever is comfortable to you. The main point is to re-establish that vibe you had with her from the last date. If you had a good first date and start the second date off with that normal awkwardness of seeing each other again, that sets a negative tone. I want to be assertive right from the start to re-establish that comfortable vibe with her. However you handle it be conscious about being extra warm and affectionate the first moments of every date.

Our society is very hard on women openly expressing their attraction and sexuality towards men. We admonish women who are promiscuous with the term “slut”. Men even call a woman a slut, often as a reaction to being rejected. The societal roles of women’s sexuality is so confusing for both men and women. Women will often act like they don’t enjoy a man’s advances only to end up in bed with him that very night.

As a boy growing up raised by a single mother I learned to respect women, almost excessively so. I was the quintessential nice guy. I unfavorably Judged men who I saw overtly hit on women and were sexual and brash. I heard my female friends complain about these men yet wind up with them every time. In my own dealings with women the moment a woman made any indication of resistance I backed off out of my own idea of what was being respectful. An implication of another relationship, a joke about me hitting on her, to a flirty statement that I misinterpreted, all would freeze me in place. I would not pursue her in my self-righteous attempt to be respectful unlike all the other guys out there (who were way more successful than I). Basically I was just afraid and inexperienced.

Guys, we are our own worse enemies. Start with confidence and go after what you want. If you want a relationship with a girl, that does not exclude being flirtatious and sexual with her. In fact if you are not creating the sexual tension, moving toward the kiss, the caress, sex, you are going to end up in the friend zone. I am not talking all in one night, but if there is not a steady noticible progression to becoming more physical with a woman, most will assume you only want to be friends. If they don’t assume that, then they will realize you are just not assertive and confident enough to be attracted to in that way.

You need to move thing forward to the point where she is saying no or being a bit resistant. This should be a gradual thing as I teach in my Dating Decoded – Audio Workshop. The point is a bit of resistance is a good thing. She is going to do this so you won’t think she is a slut. This is the point to realize these “NO’s” really mean “Not Yet”. That “not yet” may end up being a cold day in hell before it happens, but you need to keep moving forward. Hit resistance, take a step back a bit, but then proceed again in a bit.

Women don’t respond to logical reasoning why you should move the relationship forward. They don’t respond to begging, they don’t want to talk about why or why not kissing should be happening now, you just have to assertively try again even if there has been resistance. Take a step back and then move forward again later.

Don’t give up, No means Not Yet!

I so want to kiss her but is the time right?

What will she do if I kiss her and she is not ready? Will I get slapped?

Oh that deep fear of rejection, my nemesis, stop plaguing my thoughts with doubt.

That’s it, I am going to do it. I am just going to kiss her. We have been talking long enough!

But wait… more talking…

Is it ok to interrupt her and kiss her?

Actually come to think of it do I need to say something before I kiss her?

Why is this so hard!!!??

Kissing a woman was the one thing that was always so confusing to me. It looked so easy on TV and in the movies. Just lean in and kiss her. I only wish it was so simple. So on my journey to understand myself and women I came up with two techniques that I have used over and over to get out of my head and start kissing her.

The important part of kissing is the lead up. You just can’t start kissing a girl out of the blue (well you can but not without really being able to read the situation well). If you are following the Dating Decoded method you know you should have done the following:

• Connect and relate on emotions
• Appreciate her for a character trait
• Make a Statement of Intent based on another character trait
• Understand her Relationship/Social Logistics
• Begin to flirt with something like the “Stop It!” game or other playful teasing if she responds to it (explained in my Dating Decoded Audio Workshop)

If it is all ahead go with the above then it is time to start thinking about kissing her. Here is my two favorite methods for initiating the kiss:

I Can’t.. They’re Watching

I look her deeply in the eyes and confess, “I have been thinking about kissing you for the last twenty minutes, -pause for effect-, but I can’t because the bartender is watching.”

At this point I have to read her a bit. If she seems like what I said is a positive thing or at least she isn’t leaning away or looking very uncomfortable I leave it for a moment for her response. If it is obvious I moved too fast then I just ask a completely unrelated question and keep going. I averted the disastrous rejection. More likely than not though, I have just given her a tool to give me permission to kiss her without being too forward. She will come back with “Really? I don’t think he is watching..”

I lean in to kiss her; right before it happens I pull back and say, “Damn, I just can’t. I think he is watching again.” Grinning a sly grin.

She at this point is racked with anticipation, right as she is about to say something, usually like a stammered “Uh, no.. I REALLY don’t think he is watching..” I lean in and assertively kiss her.

Adapt it to whatever situation you are in. The person watching could be the security guard, the homeless guy, if you are alone in the woods on a hike it could be that you believe big-foot is watching. It really doesn’t matter who is watching as long as it is someone who isn’t really watching.

Shh.. I am kissing you now

This is a technique that you HAVE to exude a confident mindset for. This is an all guts or no glory move but is amazing in its results.

While she is talking to you start staring deep in her eyes and occasionally at her mouth. Reach out and put your finger up to her mouth in a “Shhhh stop talking a moment” gesture. Lean in and kiss her confidently.

After the Kiss lean back and with a sly grin say “There now I can pay attention to what you were saying.”

She will usually stutter a few words and say something to the effect of “uh.. actually I completely forget what I was saying.” Kiss her again.

The biggest difference I have seen in the effect of arrogance thrown in with confidence really depends on the confidence of the woman you are pursuing. We always are attracted to someone more confident than we are. If the women you set your sights on tend to be insecure, the translation of arrogance is often not that different from confidence. The more confident the women you set your sights on, the more easily they will see the insecurity or self delusion of arrogance in your words and actions.

I see it often in my clients that have been using some of the dating advice out there that advocates a “cocky” approach. In an effort to seem more confident they act like the arrogant assholes they had always previously despised. The false confidence comes off as insecurity shielded by arrogance.

The most confident men I have known also happened to be good with women. The two go hand in hand; the interesting thing is that what shows the most confidence is the ability to be ok with our own weakness. Arrogant men try not to show any flaws and flout their positive attributes. Confident men have no problem expressing that they are not perfect yet show no insecurity either.

The key in doing that is when you express a weakness of yours to do it in a confident tone of voice. Communicate through your tone and body language that you are not ashamed of your weakness and you see the positive side of it, or at least see the light at the end of the tunnel. End it on a positive note and don’t be self deprecating. Doing this shows more confidence than any cocky line or attitude.

Also check out an old podcast I did when I worked for Charisma Arts that talks all about how to use a technique called Disqualification to express your weaknesses in a confident way.

On road to true confidence you are bound to make the mistake of being too overtly confident. Even that take it in stride and admit “maybe I’m trying to seem a bit more confident than I am, but you didn’t hear that from me ”

Check out this video to hone this power of listening for good rather than evil:

With the other woman I am dating I realized I had been fooling myself a bit about the chemistry. A comment she had said sat with me about her doubts about our chemistry and I realized I was feeling the same. I had been fooling myself a bit because she was so beautiful and fun. No matter how much i’ve learned about myself and what I want, a beautiful woman still gets me off my course sometimes. Maybe I am just rationalizing that it didn’t work out and why, but I found myself even subconsciously not setting up dates soon enough with her and even making our first date a coffee date. I usually reserve coffee dates for women I am not that into.

In the end I realize it is good to be out there and dating though. Regardless of the ups and the downs of dating just keeping myself out there and dating consistently helps my confidence. I would like to find that woman I can settle down with, but I refuse to sit around and wait. That means dating people sometimes I may not see a future with. I’d like to say I am giving them a chance beyond a couple dates, but honestly having fun and enjoying their company regardless of wanting a long term relationship is what keeps me going.

I could sit around turning anyone down that is not a likely “match” or I can keep dating till I find them when I least expect it. Actively dating is great way to remind yourself that you have CHOICE. When I am not meeting new women and dating and instead just hoping i’ll meet someone soon it gets me down about my dating prospects.

I encourage everyone to get out there and date more. Dating is sorting and you have to get in there and meet more people before you come across someone you really want to be with.