Q: What is the deal with women who won’t commit on the phone? Why did she answer if she doesn’t want to go out with me?
This is an interesting question. I have seen this a few times from women in my own experience as well as with clients.
Honestly that is my question, why did she answer the phone if she doesn’t want to commit to a date?
Answer 1:
I don’t bother trying to figure out what women are thinking. I try to do it all the time but I find that my success rate is always better when I don’t.
Here is what I do:
Me: So why don’t we grab a drink on thursday night.
Her: Ya, thursday doesn’t work for me.
Me: No worries, how about sunday evening?
Her: Actually I can’t do it then either.
Me: Ok your turn, you choose a day
Put the ball back in her court. Be assertive by picking times without doing the whole “when are you free” game.
If she still doesn’t commit to a time be ready to walk away. Not in a rude way, just confident that you aren’t going to play the game. If she answered the phone she likely wants to go out with you. There could be lots of reasons why she is hesitating, from thinking she wants to get to know you over the phone first, that she is also kind of dating someone else, to just wanting the attention without committing to it. It really doesn’t matter what her reasons are, your action is the same. Put it on the line.
Me: Well, then I guess you will just have to call me the next time your free. It was cool meeting you if I don’t catch you maybe we’ll bump into each other again soon.
This is very polite, not defensive or overtly distancing yourself, but it says something very clear without shoving it in her face; “I’m about to be gone and you will lose this opportunity.”
You will be amazed the lengths women will go to get you back to pursuing them even if they are not that interested. It is human nature to want to be the one who is being pursued.
Tags: Dates, Dating, phone call, Phone Game
January 14th, 2010 at 10:50 pm
Great technique
If she hesitates or tells me she can’t go out on X then I try to cut the convo pretty quick. (not rudely or defensively) at that point she’ll “feel” the pullback and text me in a couple days, and I’ll continue to pull back any interest until I feel shes chasing me. Then I go right back for another day 2 and it usually works
-Matrix
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