There is a spark that happens in meeting someone that is almost unexplainable; that moment when you “see” someone on a deeper level and they “see” you. The human yearning to be understood and validated is such a powerful unconscious force that shapes attraction.
My method of teaching people how to create attraction is all about establishing connection so strong she says “wow I feel like you really get me!” That is really important on both sides. She needs to reveal herself to you and you have to reveal yourself to her. Throw in some confidence, appreciation, flirting and escalation and you have the roadmap to some really intense attraction.
The challenge I have found is that sometimes it is hard to elicit emotions, character traits, and deeper emotional connection in every situation. People fall back into comfortable light conversation very quickly. Sometimes such as in a bar or nightclub you don’t want to spend the entire night in deep conversation, nor should you. The conversation doesn’t have to bee that deep but you do need to elicit emotions and character traits if you want to establish that emotional connection.
One of the easiest ways I have found to inspire someone to reveal more emotions and character traits is with a simple followup question:
“What inspired you to get into that? “What inspired you to try that?”
This reveals so many underlying thoughts and emotions that it sets the stage for you to very easily relate to her. Often it reveals her character traits that set you up for a very effective statement of appreciation. викСувенириикониикониПравославни иконииконопис
Tags: connection, Conversation, questions
April 19th, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Hey Dan, I often like asking “How did you get into that?” or “What got you interested in that,” but more often than not I get a response to the effect of “I just liked it” or “it looked interesting to me” without much other detail. This will come even after I frame the sort of response I’m looking for with my own story. Is there anything else I could do to possibly open up people I’m talking to? Or should I change the subject or do something different?
April 19th, 2011 at 4:21 pm
It sounds like you are doing the right thing by answering your own question using a story that relates. Try going back to the question and making it a bit smaller using the words “one” or “last”.
“What was one thing that got you interested in that?”
If they are at all into something that should get you there. However if you are asking about what got you interested in “drinking beer and going to the beach”, the response might not actually be any deeper.