I am staring at her lips as she speaks.
I so want to kiss her but is the time right?
What will she do if I kiss her and she is not ready? Will I get slapped?
Oh that deep fear of rejection, my nemesis, stop plaguing my thoughts with doubt.
That’s it, I am going to do it. I am just going to kiss her. We have been talking long enough!
But wait… more talking…
Is it ok to interrupt her and kiss her?
Actually come to think of it do I need to say something before I kiss her?
Why is this so hard!!!??
Kissing a woman was the one thing that was always so confusing to me. It looked so easy on TV and in the movies. Just lean in and kiss her. I only wish it was so simple. So on my journey to understand myself and women I came up with two techniques that I have used over and over to get out of my head and start kissing her.
The important part of kissing is the lead up. You just can’t start kissing a girl out of the blue (well you can but not without really being able to read the situation well). If you are following the Dating Decoded method you know you should have done the following:
- Connect and relate on emotions
- Appreciate her for a character trait
- Make a Statement of Intent based on another character trait
- Understand her Relationship/Social Logistics
- Begin to flirt with something like the “Stop It!” game or other playful teasing if she responds to it (explained in my Dating Decoded Audio Workshop)
If it is all ahead go with the above then it is time to start thinking about kissing her. Here is my two favorite methods for initiating the kiss:
I Can’t.. They’re Watching
I look her deeply in the eyes and confess, “I have been thinking about kissing you for the last twenty minutes, -pause for effect-, but I can’t because the bartender is watching.”
At this point I have to read her a bit. If she seems like what I said is a positive thing or at least she isn’t leaning away or looking very uncomfortable I leave it for a moment for her response. If it is obvious I moved too fast then I just ask a completely unrelated question and keep going. I averted the disastrous rejection. More likely than not though, I have just given her a tool to give me permission to kiss her without being too forward. She will come back with “Really? I don’t think he is watching..”
I lean in to kiss her; right before it happens I pull back and say, “Damn, I just can’t. I think he is watching again.” Grinning a sly grin.
She at this point is racked with anticipation, right as she is about to say something, usually like a stammered “Uh, no.. I REALLY don’t think he is watching..” I lean in and assertively kiss her.
Adapt it to whatever situation you are in. The person watching could be the security guard, the homeless guy, if you are alone in the woods on a hike it could be that you believe big-foot is watching. It really doesn’t matter who is watching as long as it is someone who isn’t really watching.
Shh.. I am kissing you now
This is a technique that you HAVE to exude a confident mindset for. This is an all guts or no glory move but is amazing in its results.
While she is talking to you start staring deep in her eyes and occasionally at her mouth. Reach out and put your finger up to her mouth in a “Shhhh stop talking a moment” gesture. Lean in and kiss her confidently.
After the Kiss lean back and with a sly grin say “There now I can pay attention to what you were saying.”
She will usually stutter a few words and say something to the effect of “uh.. actually I completely forget what I was saying.” Kiss her again.
Tags: Dating, dating decoded, Flirting, Geek Dating Tips, how to kiss, initiate the kiss, kiss a girl, kiss a woman, kiss her
May 12th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
[...] How to Kiss a Girl – A great kiss close technique from Dan form Charisma Coaching Grow Your Game: [...]
January 3rd, 2010 at 5:37 am
There’s some very good kissing information here. Very glad that you’re sharing it with the world.
There’s nothing better than finding someone who REALLY knows how to kiss, is there?
how to make out with a girl´s last blog ..3 Kissing Tips for Guys