Yeah. Actually something the less attractive more complimentary girl kept bringing up was how fast we walked back from the caves in order for them to catch their train, and, poor me, was wearing a rucksack (really I thought the speed was pretty slow, but I can’t say they’re unfit, or otherwise qualify my fitness).
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My response of ‘I don’t mind’ was weak, better to have said ‘yeah, I was totally exhausted, you are cruel wicked women’.
It is true a teasing DQ would have been fun, and improved the interaction.

But on the other hand in this instance the wall was running out of things to be interested in. I wish I had at least just asked for isolation with her. It would be bad after their first refusal, but you cannot take an interest in someone personally while addressing a group, standing in an aircraft aisle.
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I definitely need more things to take an interest in, whilst in group. The fucking boring man further down the plane, attempting to sarge a highly socialised Irish girl with his endless recount of the hostel-girl who was interested but lost interest when he tried to extract an SOI from her (do you like me? – he asked her – holy JEsus fuck).
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HE had exactly the same problem as me (except he was also, IMO, a terrible bore), he had exhausted ways to take an interest, so just talked and talked and talked. It is common, we run out of ways to draw them out, and so become try hard. This is much more true at home, where I have less things to be interested in, natural traveller topics. And I’m back home!
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Come on man, help us out, you can do it, just obsess for me.

The problem I have, sometimes, more here at home, is a conversation is fine for a while, and I am genuninely interested in being entertained, but I can rapidly become try hard.

I run out of things to be interested in, and commit to much energy to the interaction stacking stories whilst getting little from her/them, but appreciation. So while my talk maybe, hopefully, somewhat entertaining, I’m losing value just from the sheer bulk of it I’m throwing out, but I’ve just run out of ways of getting something interesting from her/them.

Since she hasn’t said anything significant enough to justify going personal i.e. asking about childhood (which is the big endless rapport topic, it seems to me).

If you could reread this, until you have ideas for help.
I think it is a common experience for many men, conversation slowly becoming try hard as things I’m interested in are exhausted, with little return. I think it’s maybe easier one on one, where I can do things like pre-answering the question, and taking a personal interest (without needing her to DHV), but these things are weird to do in a group, where you have to include everyone really.

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Actually I’ll make it specific, American girls on the plane, I know them from being lost together in some woods looking for caves. So I see there on the plane, airbourne I walk the aisle looking for them, get to the end without spotting them, decide I’m mistaken, bang, there they are. I say
‘I’m bored, come sit with me down there and tell me you’re adventures in Bled’.
They were 3, I only had seats for 2.

They ask me questions, I plough through stories, I get a little jerked off because they are praising my character a lot (not smiling and laughing as there supposed to God-damn-it). At one point, maybe my first question answer, I’m being expressive with my story and I notice my hand is shaking (from having my plan thwarted, and now being on show to the whole plane chatting girls), the hotter girl starts brushing her hair round this time, not sure if this was to reassure me, or genunine interest, but was good, because I had started to doubt my previous hours with them – had I achieved prizabaility or were they just nice?

So they’re ploughing their questions and compliments, and I’m storytelling but pretty much exhausted my positive material, and doing my best to make not-so-positive reality entertaining. But I’m getting nothing substanial from them, from the hot law student I want, who is hair brushing.

They are 3 so I can isolate one, but I have no reason, my questions, of genunine interest yeild little. I have nothing to hang an isolation on, so I end a story and they appreciate, and say goodbye and return to my seat. And think ‘well that sucks’. I sit with no one to talk to, they sit not saying anything, cos’ they’ve been talking to one another their whole trip. Lose lose.

There is more to the story at the airport, but its essentially the same, minus the girl I want since she’s in the toilet.

It just seems like this has slipped away, because I couldn’t get anything, enough, out of the girl to justify an isolation or at the airport a close (number or email). And they liked me, I had prizability, I just couldn’t do the isolation, or close since I had no reason, since I ran out of things to be interested in.

It sucks.
Solutions please.

Love you man, on you’re mighty moral pedastal an’ all.
x
G.

I totally dig Phone Game Version 3.7. The new and improved added-SOI in the text message is bad ass. Also proposing coffee gives more purpose to the messages than just leaving my name and when I’m going to call her next. I have one more omelet though, I’m gonna puke.

I am currently field testing this on a gal or two! I’ll let you know how it goes.

Elliott

If she is texting you back she wants to talk to you.

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DH, that sounds a little defeatist. I agree there should be a bit of a finality on the phone that “implies” a bit of I’m not going to call you again, but i no longer suggest an ultimatum. I felt really stupid once when i did that and she then called me back and she was just out of town.

I thought the last line was important for seeming non-needy and making her feel safe that I’m not pressuring her, but now I’m not sure it conveys that.

I can’t say it’s ever lead to a turn around with a girl who’s flaking, but most of the time I at least get an apologetic phone call or text and she’s actually straight forward, which is gratifying. It forces her to treat me like a real human being.

But anyway, this is all just damage control when the pickup didn’t have her on the edge of her seat waiting for us to call.

Just a quick question. Isn’t calling back right when she texts you sending a needy vibe? Like as soon as you know she’s near a phone you’re gonna trap her into answering it?

Sometimes people have time for a text, but not a call, but if as soon as they text, you’re calling, won’t that put them off?

I’m very much the student in this, so I’m not being critical, it just seems like something I would do when I used to be ’super-needy’ man.

-Craig, Boston