Comments on: Positive Misinterpretations http://www.charismatips.com/positive-misinterpretations/ From Charisma Coaching Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:36:52 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Jonas http://www.charismatips.com/positive-misinterpretations/comment-page-1/#comment-456 Jonas Wed, 15 Nov 2006 20:59:00 +0000 http://www.charismatips.com/?p=97#comment-456 Wow this is unreal. Seeing my post on my favorite blog. Thanks Dan for seing the potential in my idea. You are always aware -I really like that about you.<BR/>And Jason I am really glad you liked my fieldrapport. I makes me feel good to know that somebody out there value my experiences. Thanks for sharing mate! Wow this is unreal. Seeing my post on my favorite blog. Thanks Dan for seing the potential in my idea. You are always aware -I really like that about you.
And Jason I am really glad you liked my fieldrapport. I makes me feel good to know that somebody out there value my experiences. Thanks for sharing mate!

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.charismatips.com/positive-misinterpretations/comment-page-1/#comment-457 Anonymous Wed, 15 Nov 2006 17:41:00 +0000 http://www.charismatips.com/?p=97#comment-457 I don’t know that anything is weird if you talk about it in a congruent fashion. The only things that I try and avoid are things that are gross or things that I don't care about.<BR/><BR/>At the boot camp, a 2 set of girls and I had a discussion about this exact thing. I am a virgin (albeit by choice, but that doesn’t matter) and they loved it because I appeared okay with it, although a lot of times I’m not. The married girl started reverse kinoing me and the other girl was interested although I broke off the set prematurely.<BR/><BR/>Wear anything and everything as a badge of honor because that anything makes up who you are; makes you unique. I collect trash from the side of the road and make sculptures out of it. Thats weird but its part of me.<BR/><BR/>You can DQ on it, although I think Wayne said not to. I have and it wasn’t a stumbling point. I have found that any topic you are uncomfortable with will inevitably come up. Or maybe that’s my luck...<BR/><BR/>Luke I don’t know that anything is weird if you talk about it in a congruent fashion. The only things that I try and avoid are things that are gross or things that I don’t care about.

At the boot camp, a 2 set of girls and I had a discussion about this exact thing. I am a virgin (albeit by choice, but that doesn’t matter) and they loved it because I appeared okay with it, although a lot of times I’m not. The married girl started reverse kinoing me and the other girl was interested although I broke off the set prematurely.

Wear anything and everything as a badge of honor because that anything makes up who you are; makes you unique. I collect trash from the side of the road and make sculptures out of it. Thats weird but its part of me.

You can DQ on it, although I think Wayne said not to. I have and it wasn’t a stumbling point. I have found that any topic you are uncomfortable with will inevitably come up. Or maybe that’s my luck…

Luke

]]> By: SocialHitchHiker http://www.charismatips.com/positive-misinterpretations/comment-page-1/#comment-458 SocialHitchHiker Wed, 15 Nov 2006 17:39:00 +0000 http://www.charismatips.com/?p=97#comment-458 If you can't be confident about it don't DQ on it or bring it up. Disqualification works when you are confident about your weakness. If you are not it doesn't work.<BR/><BR/>Don't feel bad about it though. I was 23 when i lost my virginity. I know guys who are great with women now who lost it even later.<BR/><BR/>If it is brought up try to stay confident. Don't let it get to you. Be upfront and then change the subject. Just for your info if you can stay confident and have no agenda in the interaction you will actually be amazed at how many women would love to take the opprotunity to "pop your cherry". <BR/><BR/>There is nothing to be ashamed of, have fun and don't let that become a worry. As for a long term plan, once you find a girl you like go out on a few dates with her and make sure you escalate with making out and flirting. Then bring it up casually and confidently. Don't make it a heavy conversation.<BR/><BR/>I lost it to a good friend and i thought that was much better. No wierdness at all nor any expectation on what it meant to a relationship. If you can’t be confident about it don’t DQ on it or bring it up. Disqualification works when you are confident about your weakness. If you are not it doesn’t work.

Don’t feel bad about it though. I was 23 when i lost my virginity. I know guys who are great with women now who lost it even later.

If it is brought up try to stay confident. Don’t let it get to you. Be upfront and then change the subject. Just for your info if you can stay confident and have no agenda in the interaction you will actually be amazed at how many women would love to take the opprotunity to “pop your cherry”.

There is nothing to be ashamed of, have fun and don’t let that become a worry. As for a long term plan, once you find a girl you like go out on a few dates with her and make sure you escalate with making out and flirting. Then bring it up casually and confidently. Don’t make it a heavy conversation.

I lost it to a good friend and i thought that was much better. No wierdness at all nor any expectation on what it meant to a relationship.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.charismatips.com/positive-misinterpretations/comment-page-1/#comment-459 Anonymous Wed, 15 Nov 2006 11:15:00 +0000 http://www.charismatips.com/?p=97#comment-459 They were actually asking how many girls i've been with... of course this doesn't happen every time, but it did happen a few times. Problem is, that i sound very defensive if i try to avoid an answer, and according to the JM I should never get defensive, even DQ myself... i thought telling the truth could be some kind of DQ, so they see they can't affect me and i don't need their approval. How would you avoid this, when somebody directely asks you "how many relationships did you have in your life?" When do you know you can DQ yourself, and when you should hide the truth because it weirds people out?<BR/><BR/>Thank you for your answer! They were actually asking how many girls i’ve been with… of course this doesn’t happen every time, but it did happen a few times. Problem is, that i sound very defensive if i try to avoid an answer, and according to the JM I should never get defensive, even DQ myself… i thought telling the truth could be some kind of DQ, so they see they can’t affect me and i don’t need their approval. How would you avoid this, when somebody directely asks you “how many relationships did you have in your life?” When do you know you can DQ yourself, and when you should hide the truth because it weirds people out?

Thank you for your answer!

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.charismatips.com/positive-misinterpretations/comment-page-1/#comment-460 Anonymous Wed, 15 Nov 2006 03:45:00 +0000 http://www.charismatips.com/?p=97#comment-460 I wouldn't share that. It's nothing to be ashamed of but they don't need to know your sex life, and like you said they act weirded out. You don't want that. I'm kinda surprised you didn't learn your lesson the first time. My advice- don't lie, but don't tell em the truth either. Just tell em you have never been in any serious relationships. I highly doubt they will ask how many women youve slept with.<BR/><BR/>It's weird because never in my life has that topic come up for me. Are they actually asking how many girls you've been with or are you voluntarily bringing up the fact youre a virgin? I wouldn’t share that. It’s nothing to be ashamed of but they don’t need to know your sex life, and like you said they act weirded out. You don’t want that. I’m kinda surprised you didn’t learn your lesson the first time. My advice- don’t lie, but don’t tell em the truth either. Just tell em you have never been in any serious relationships. I highly doubt they will ask how many women youve slept with.

It’s weird because never in my life has that topic come up for me. Are they actually asking how many girls you’ve been with or are you voluntarily bringing up the fact youre a virgin?

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.charismatips.com/positive-misinterpretations/comment-page-1/#comment-461 Anonymous Tue, 14 Nov 2006 18:00:00 +0000 http://www.charismatips.com/?p=97#comment-461 Hey Dan,<BR/><BR/>I'm a virgin, would you recommend being open about this to girls when they directly ask after my relationship experience, or try to fake it at first and tell them afterwards the truth? I know i should be genuine and accept myself the way i am, but mostly they act weirded out when i tell them the truth, since i'm quite old...<BR/><BR/>I enjoy your blog a lot, thanks a lot for it!<BR/><BR/>Sir Virgin the anonymously Hey Dan,

I’m a virgin, would you recommend being open about this to girls when they directly ask after my relationship experience, or try to fake it at first and tell them afterwards the truth? I know i should be genuine and accept myself the way i am, but mostly they act weirded out when i tell them the truth, since i’m quite old…

I enjoy your blog a lot, thanks a lot for it!

Sir Virgin the anonymously

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.charismatips.com/positive-misinterpretations/comment-page-1/#comment-462 Anonymous Mon, 13 Nov 2006 09:20:00 +0000 http://www.charismatips.com/?p=97#comment-462 Jonas is brilliant, I loved his recent lay report too.<BR/><BR/>My dad taught me a great example of this positive misinterpretation/ positive presumption technique last week.<BR/><BR/>I told him my boss ignored most everything I wrote in my paper.<BR/><BR/>He said, "I write back, and after incorporate what ever feedback my boss does give me up front, then I just add 'I glad you are happy with my work so far.'"<BR/><BR/>"After a couple of these, it's really hard for them to come back later and say they didn't like my work! They've either got to actively disagree and actually give me feedback, or agree (by default) that they are happy with my work and I'm doing a good job!"<BR/><BR/>What a nice way to spin lack of feedback! I realize now I used to take this "presumption" approach all the time with my ex-wife. I would just warm-read what she was thinking. If she didn't agree, she'd tell me. But mostly she thought I was psychic, and it would magnify rapport exponentially.<BR/><BR/> - Jason_LA Jonas is brilliant, I loved his recent lay report too.

My dad taught me a great example of this positive misinterpretation/ positive presumption technique last week.

I told him my boss ignored most everything I wrote in my paper.

He said, “I write back, and after incorporate what ever feedback my boss does give me up front, then I just add ‘I glad you are happy with my work so far.’”

“After a couple of these, it’s really hard for them to come back later and say they didn’t like my work! They’ve either got to actively disagree and actually give me feedback, or agree (by default) that they are happy with my work and I’m doing a good job!”

What a nice way to spin lack of feedback! I realize now I used to take this “presumption” approach all the time with my ex-wife. I would just warm-read what she was thinking. If she didn’t agree, she’d tell me. But mostly she thought I was psychic, and it would magnify rapport exponentially.

– Jason_LA

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