Damn, nothing is hotter than a woman with a sword. That outfit isn’t bad either, gotta love ladies armor fashion these days. As she approaches she smiles and is about to profess what you hope will be her undying love for you when you are interrupted by a strange sound coming from the sky. It sounds eerily familiar, like some kind of music. It is so distracting when all you want to do is get back to beginning a sordid love affair with the pointy eared scantily clad lady warrior standing in front of you. The music seems to descend and surround you with that creepy familiar song that reminds you of your ringtone back in a time and place you seem to be quickly returning to. Damn phone, just interrupted the best dream you’ve had, or were going to have, in the last six months.
You look up and see it’s a call from her, that girl you met the other night and went out with once on what seemed at the time a very promising date. You immediately rush to answer it only glancing at the clock staring back at you blinking some time near midnight.
“Are you coming out? We are at Bar None playing beer pong, you should join us!” She slightly slurs into the phone over the sounds of drunken revelry in the background.
“Sure, I’ll be right there! Talk to you soon.” You reply running your fingers through your stylish bed head hairdo briefly glancing in the direction you hope your pants are. Thoughts of getting lucky, booty calls and a cute girl spur you to get out of bed and ignore your eight am business meeting tomorrow morning.
Parking was more of a pain than you thought it would be. You find yourself finally having your ID examined by the door guy, and walking into $2 beer night being bumped and pushed in every direction as you walk through the bar. Scanning the sea of faces you don’t see hers anywhere. After completing the circuit and almost having beer spilled on you twice you go back outside to call her.
“Hey where are you? I just got here.” You yell into the phone with your finger firmly stuck in your other ear.
She answers, “Oh, we decided to call it a night. I have to get up early tomorrow for work.”
Speechless you manage to stutter out, “Uh ok, well let’s get together soon.”
You have just been flaked on, and the worst part is you allowed it to happen. She is at home in bed by now and you are standing on the sidewalk like an idiot wondering if she likes you or not.
I have been there, thats how I know that even while standing there, you were likely not even that mad at her. Honestly she isn’t worth being mad at; you should be mad at yourself for not applying one simple rule:
Treat a woman no better or worse than one of your buddies.
I certainly wouldn’t get up and come out to join one of my guy friends if I am already in bed; in fact I wouldn’t even answer the phone. Why would you do that for a woman?
I am not saying don’t treat women well. I would do a lot for a friend of mine if he needed me, but he damn well be laying in a ditch somewhere if he is calling me past midnight on a tuesday evening for something.
The least attractive thing to a woman a man can do is not stand up for himself. As scary as it sounds to turn away a woman’s request and what she will think of you, she will admire you and be more attracted to you if you grow a backbone and stand up to her.
Women have an almost unconscious desire to test men sometimes. It can be as small as repeatedly asking for small favors at a time you have something else going on, to changing the music to something you don’t like in your car. Will you say how you feel? Will you tell her you can’t that you are busy, or ask to turn the station back you were enjoying that song? How long and how far will you let it go before she has completely emasculated you? There is no need to be rude when you do it, just simply stand up for yourself.
Emasculated: Answering the phone no matter what or when.
Confident: Answering when you are free and letting it go to voicemail when you are doing something or talking to someone.
Emasculated: Buying a drink for a girl you just met cause she asked you to. (worse if you buy her friends drink too)
Confident: Telling her you might after she gets to know you better, and actually buying her that drink later.
Emasculated: Paying for an extravagant dinner in hopes she will like you.
Confident: Paying for a meal because you invited her to dinner, but actually really being excited to try the restaurant yourself.
Emasculated: Agreeing to go out with her on a night you had previous plans because you will break them for her.
Confident: Choosing a night and time when you are free even if it has been a bit of trouble scheduling it for both of you.
Apply the rule to all of the above.
-If I am busy, I don’t stop what I am doing to take calls from my buddies, I call them back.
-I buy drinks for my friends because I know they will get the next round.
-I will often buy meals or coffee for a friend if I invited them out, not because I want them to like me but because they would do the same for me.
-I don’t pick restaurants I can’t afford to eat at to dine with friends.
Ask yourself, if your buddy treated you the same way how would you act? Don’t supplicate to women anymore, be a gentleman but have a backbone as well.