If I think back at when I was in your situation, I was always a few years behind everyone else. Trying to talk it out before every step will not help you. I think before you end up having sex for the first time that is a time to have a discussion about it. For the rest you have to actually get in the water before you can learn to swim.

Luckily you don’t have to do it without help. Most of us stumbled through this stage, you now have a lot of options for help and to go in knowing more. Let me know if I can be of any assistance!

Dan

So if I finally get in that dating arena for the very first time in my life. How do I address these issues if they do come up or maybe I should say nothing at all?

First let me say….that took real courage to talk about losing your virginity at 23! Or at all for that matter. Bravo to you for putting out there what so many others find to uncomfortable to embarrassed to talk about!
Second, when I think of the 40 Year Old Virgin, I think that the best part of the movie was that he waited until it was right and with the right person and it was a good, positive, loving experience. Which is how it should be. I think a lot of people were too caught up in the comedy of that movie to really see his journey. And if you remember, when he finally told his girlfriend that he was a virgin, it was not a big deal to her.
Third, one thing I think is an interesting question here is, how are you defining virginity? Are you talking about someone who has no sexual experience or someone who has done everything except penile/vaginal intercourse? Because there are a lot of people out there doing oral and anal sex with multiple partners but they still define themselves as a virgin because they have never had penile/vaginal sex. That doesn’t necessarily = inexperience. Gay men and women do not have penile/vaginal intercourse so does that mean they are lifelong virgins, no matter what other sexual behavior they engage in?
Another thought I had is that couples whether they are virgins or not, should work up to sex. Meaning a kiss goodnight on the first date and progress from there at a comfort level they both share. My opinion is, if they do that, by the time they are ready for intercourse, they are more comfortable with each other and that last step should not be too awkward. I think right now, people jump right into intercourse. Doesn’t anyone date anymore?
I think this is a very good piece. People should not ridicule someone who has less or no experience. Every person has the right to wait until they are ready and doing it for the right reasons. I feel for these kids who just do it to get it over with and it has no meaning. It starts a foundation for bad sexual experiences and little self value.
Sex is always something that can be worked on and improved in a relationship, especially with good communication.

What a great and honest post!! It was really refreshing to read that. There is way too much chest beating out there in this niche and it is great to see someone who is honest and thinks about what they are writing.

I think guys should always look at strengthening themselves first before they get out there and start approaching, dating and sleeping with women. Because it is all too common that guys get out there and become reliant on a womans attention to make them feel validated.
I know I have been there and with a few years of experience of approaching and dating women it is the relationships you get with them both mentally as well as physically that are very important.

Take Care Man.

TC