I think it might just be more intimidating to start a conversation with a guy in a social situation like a bar or party than it is a woman. Unless you are gay you probably don’t think about ways to go talk to guys when you are out. It is however an important skill to be able to talk to anyone and start up conversations anywhere.
The most helpful thing for me to get me rolling when I enter a bar or somewhere alone is to get into conversation really quickly. Standing around only erodes my confidence and I end up usually going home with my tail between my legs. Being a social guy means I am not just talking to the cute girls but that I talk to anyone. Women notice who you have been talking to in an evening and it is important to be social with everyone. Approaching a couple guys I find is the easiest way to get me in the zone and even help pick me up if i just got rejected by a girl.
Approaching guys is not the same as going up to a woman. I like to act casual and wander up as if I was not directly planning on coming straight up to them. Don’t do the creepy sneak over, just be casual. My no-fail opener is always:
“Hey, how’s your luck with the ladies tonight?”
It never fails. Guys love to talk about women as much as women like to talk about sleep over pillow fights in their lingerie. (Don’t even think about breaking my fantasy about what women really talk about in a comment on this post!)
I usually choose the guys in the corner, the wallflower guys. These guys are trying so hard to look cool and hope someone comes over to talk to them they are usually a great start. From there I usually feel more confident and will go approach a woman using them as my hub. You know they’ll still be standing there when you are done. If you get rejected then you can go back and laugh about it with them. If you are successful get a few girls you just met to come over and meet them, or invite the guys to come meet the girls. You will look good no matter how socially awkward the guys are because you are making introductions. That makes you more friendly and outgoing than anyone in that bar. That leaves an impression!
So don’t ignore the guys next time you go out to meet women. Strike up a conversation with my never fail opener: “Hey, how’s your luck with the ladies tonight?”
Tags: Confidence, Conversation, conversation openers, guys, openers, starting a conversation
August 27th, 2009 at 5:55 am
Although don’t do this with the guys who are creepy. Avoid those guys.
September 11th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Nice tips man, I especially like your no-fail opener. I’m working on being more social with everyone, rather than constantly just trying to talk to only the women. The awesome thing about doing it that way is it usually works in your favor more anyways.
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