I get asked how to have a successful second date almost more often than I get questions about the first date. There is a lot to be confused about really.
- What do you talk about on the second date? Most of the good conversation topics seem to be covered.
- If you managed to kiss her where do you go from there?
- You are probably nervous about the pressure of it needing to be better than the first date.
The second date is a very crucial date. A lot of women will give a guy a second date even if the first date was only OK, but if it doesn’t go better than the first it will be the last. It is on you to make the second date more than just a “get to know you” interview.
I usually do coffee or drinks for the first date, some activity where we can still talk on the second, and then a dinner date (usually at my place with me cooking) on the third date. If you can make it through those three you are usually golden and dating after that gets easier. The second date is always the one that I find is the most critical though.
The first key is to never move backwards on your dates unless she is specifically trying to slow it down. I usually kiss her the first time I meet her or on the first date. Obviously if the first date was coffee, an opportunity for kissing may not be making its way in there and I add one more date, usually drinks before an activity date. If you kissed her on the first date and you guys get close yet you don’t go to the same level on the second date, you are moving backwards. The other bonus to doing an activity date like hiking, going to a museum, or even going downtown and wandering through the shops, is that it takes a little bit of the pressure off and the environment gives you stuff to talk about. Just avoid taking a class together or doing an activity where it is more about that than doing something while talking.
I find the crucial moment on the second date is the first moment you see her. You are both nervous about how the date is going to go, whether the same vibe and rapport will happen, and if the feelings for each other are going to grow a bit. Take the first moment you see her on that second date to establish firmly how the rest of the date is going to go. It is exactly like approaching a woman for the first time. That first vibe she sees at the approach will tell her how the rest of the interaction will go.
If you have kissed her on the last date, the moment you see her again warmly greet her with confidence and give her a big hug and then kiss her straight on the lips with a touch of a slow romantic kiss without trying to “make out with her”. Save the tongue for later boys, just no grandma peck. Make it a short kiss and be the one to end it first. If you haven’t kissed her take this opportunity to give her a hug than with your arms still around her waist look her right in the eyes and in a slightly seductive way for a moment. Then before it becomes the slightest bit awkward go back to the warm friendly vibe and say something like “let’s go!” and start heading toward where you are going for your date.
These are my suggestions of how to handle the first few moments of your second date, feel free to do whatever is comfortable to you. The main point is to re-establish that vibe you had with her from the last date. If you had a good first date and start the second date off with that normal awkwardness of seeing each other again, that sets a negative tone. I want to be assertive right from the start to re-establish that comfortable vibe with her. However you handle it be conscious about being extra warm and affectionate the first moments of every date.
Tags: 2nd date, Dates, Dating, kiss her, second date, vibe
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