Mike: So how long do I wait to call?
Trent: A day.
Mike: Tomorrow.
Sue: Tomorrow, then a day.
Trent: Yeah.
Mike: So two days?
Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.
Sue: Definitely, two days is like industry standard.
Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it’s like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?
Sue: Yeah, but two’s enough not to look anxious.
Trent: Yeah, two’s enough not to look anxious. But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you…
Trent: You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who’s ready to party.
Mike: Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?
Trent, Sue: Six days.

The classic dilemma, how long do I wait before I call a girl. The two day rule became famous from The Movie Swingers. You don’t want to come off looking too anxious and needy and it seems calling later rather than sooner will do that.

One of the biggest complaints my female clients voice is about guys who wait too long to call. This is an example of what goes through their heads:

Night of: He was really cool; I liked him. I really hope he calls.
Next Day: It would be really fun to go out with him, hopefully he calls today or tomorrow
Second Day: Well he still hasn’t called, I really hope he is not the kind of guy who tries to wait two or three days so he won’t seem needy. I’ll still go out with him if he calls but this game is pretty lame.
Third Day: What an idiot, I can’t believe he didn’t call me. If he calls I might even just ignore it.
Fourth Day: What an ass, I hope I never run into him again.

If she likes you she wants to hear from you; call her the next day. If I am absolutely too busy to call the next day I usually send a text to say “It was cool meeting you last night, This weekend is a bit crazy I’ll give you a call on Sunday.” By doing that you short-circuit the thought process she goes through from Yay to Nay.

It is amazing to me how much my feelings for a woman changes throughout the week depending on how much or little we talk. I recently met a woman on Friday and after spending the night with her and much of the day Saturday, her five texts in a row on Sunday made me feel like I needed a bit more distance. As the week went on I think she sensed something and she only texted me twice during the week and didn’t return one of my calls. By the end of the week I was wondering if I screwed up and she didn’t like me anymore and was really hoping to see her or talk to her soon. A small text from her at this point had me jumping to call her and make plans. The same happens for women.

My simple rule is don’t send more than two unanswered texts in a day. If I don’t get a response I wait one full day with no contact and then try another text or phone call. If she enjoys having a text conversation with you go ahead and have fun with it. I just never send more than two texts in a day that she hasn’t replied to, and generally just send one.

You don’t have to play games with phone calls and texting; just don’t go overboard. Call if you want to call, text if you want to text. The only time you will come off needy is if you keep calling or texting if she hasn’t responded.

For more discussion from getting the number to the next step check out: How Many Times Should I Call a Girl?

I have to admit I’ve been that guy who doesn’t call after getting your number. It really wasn’t anything personal. There was nothing you did wrong; in fact likely it was my fault. We had a fun time talking. After a day or so I thought about calling, I honestly did, but I just wasn’t excited about it enough. In the moment we were having fun and I figured more of that in the future would be good so I should get your number. A day or two later all I really had in my mind about our connection was that we had fun. I’d probably have more fun calling up a buddy or maybe trying to meet someone that I had more of a connection with.

There are a lot of reasons why guys flake, from just getting the number because they wanted to see if they could, finding another woman they like more, to just being busy and it would feel weird to call since too much time has passed. It is going to happen to everyone, but there are some things you can do to try to minimize it.

One of the most important things I feel when I meet a woman I plan on calling is that I find something interesting about her. We have either a common interest, or I find that person intriguing. Our interaction went beyond flirting and fun and a deeper connection was made. In our workshops we spend a lot of time working with people to relate with anyone about anything. Forming that connection so he knows you two have things in common and leaving him with a feeling that you are interesting and intriguing is the main goal.

Having a good sense of who you are and answering questions in a way that reveals a bit more about you will go a long way. Also don’t forget to find out what is interesting about them. It is very attractive to us when someone takes an interest in who we are. Playing coy or mysterious is fine when we are trying to guess whether you are attracted to us. If you are trying too hard to be mysterious about who you are, physical attraction becomes one of the only motivating factor for us to call you.

Be interesting, be interested, and be intriguing. If you accomplish those goals when talking to a guy they will likely go home thinking when they should call you, not if.