I realized then that I sucked at dating at and I needed help. I knew I was a successful, motivated, interesting man with a strong confidence and that peopled liked me; why didn’t she? I was a nice guy. What was wrong with nice guys? Why do nice guys finish last? Do I have to act like an asshole to be good with women?

Are you a nice guy that wants to be better with women? Well on your search I am sure you have come across the Pickup Artist Community revealed by the book by Neil Strauss “The Game”. That was where I started too. After getting trained and teaching for two years as the senior instructor at Charisma Arts (Wayne Elise’s company AKA “Juggler”) I discovered the art of being successful with women and my social life in general. Everything changed for me. I discovered happiness. The interesting thing was I never felt great being associated with the “PUA (pickup artist)” community. They were all telling guys at that time that they had to change, that being themselves wasn’t interesting and stop being the “nice guy”. I remember reading David DeAngelo’s book thinking, “If I have to be that much of an asshole I would rather be alone the rest of my life.”

I have never claimed to be a PUA and I never will. I gained something far more valuable through my search that most of the guys in the community are only grasping at; happiness and a fulfilling social, romantic, and sex life. Most PUA’s I know are good at only the sex life thing.

So how do you be successful with women (and people in general) without being an asshole? Without the cocky funny lines, the routines, and stock banter, what is it that really makes someone successful?

1. Confidence
2. Be Assertive
3. Choice

Know who you are and what is worthwhile and meaningful in your life to achieve true self-confidence. Be assertive with what you want in life, love, and friendship to make it happen. Once you achieve the first two you will see an increase in the choice of who you have to date, who to include in your social circle, and what you want out of the relationships in your life. Understanding you have choice removes the neediness and instills the sense of detachment that is very attractive to the opposite sex.

Assholes, PUA’s, Bad Boys, and Douchebag guys have all three guaranteed. Yes they are good with women, but it is those three that make them successful, not the negative aspects in way they act. My goal has been to be a gentleman, a nice guy, but to find a way to do that successfully. I realize everything in the method I developed and have taught to thousands of men all fall into teaching them techniques to achieve the above three things.

You can be successful and be a gentleman and a nice guy. Don’t let the anyone tell you otherwise. Women want assertive, confident, nice guys.