Comments on: The Art of Flirting- Part I

By: Edge – Evolving Links 11.22.08 | Pick-up Evolution

Edge – Evolving Links 11.22.08 | Pick-up Evolution — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:20:34 +0000

[...] Charisma Tips » The Art of Flirting – Part I [...]

By: goose

goose — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 16:22:36 +0000

Yeah OK Dan, thanks for being patient and responding politely.

Maybe I’ll come back when I have some things which play to your style.

Looks like your giving lots of free value here…. hope your busy an all.

By: Dan M

Dan M — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 03:07:04 +0000

Conversation is the heart of what I teach. If she is doing that then you aren’t being relatable enough. A shy girl comes out of her shell not by teasing her and saying funny things. Someone shy will come out of their shell when you share who you are up front in a confident way. That leads the path for them to do the same.

It sounds like you are looking for techniques more than solid conversational skill. I’d recommend taking some phone coaching if you want to understand the way I do it. I leave the routines at the door and have success by creating a fun conversational vibe.

By: goose

goose — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:16:50 +0000

Well the laundry comment I’ve made again with a more confident girl it is now ‘Wow your hands are hot. I’m going to wrap you in bubble wrap and put in you in my bag. It’s going to be a bit of a squash.
(OMG girl coding)
And take you home and drape… blah blah blah.
\
Works fine. Smiles, grinning, whatever.
Sure some day it won’t work…. but whatever.
\
Although taking her to my place is rather forward isn’t it… I wonder if I can make more of that twist.
‘I’m going to take you home and screw you against the wall. Like a radiator, and hang my laundry all over you, to dry’
\
That probably wouldn’t help comfort though.
\
What is this plunge into a conversation bollocks.
Immediate stories just weirds them out…. because they don’t focus, they just think the whole time ‘what does he want?’.
\
Yeah pointing out her discomfort didn’t accomplish anything – I knew I had to deal with her discomfort, so tried calling it out\
… so this failed, I guess, and I still need some idea what I should have done to put her at ease.
Maybe used her agreement somehow? How?
\
Telling her about myself doesn’t work particularly well.
Just watch Stardust, you’ll recognise the scene I mean instantly…. that’s how it is…. girls are like ‘why is he telling me this?’.
\
come on Dan, address the issue, don’t pull apart things which work perfectly well….
\
Shy girls – what extra ordinary measures can I take to put them at ease?

By: Dan M

Dan M — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 21:20:24 +0000

Well you started off pointing out her uneasiness and did nothing to fix it. She is weirded out because either your vibe is off or just the discomfort of being approached. By pointing it out you are showing that it affects you. The start of an approach you have to stay confident and warm, show that no matter what her reaction you are calm and collected.

The Laundry comment I have to admit would wierd me out. It just doesn’t make sense and is too forward if it is flirting that quick in the interaction.

You need to start a conversation, not run a routine. Show her you are normal and a fun warm friendly guy. She knows you are wanting to talk to her if it is a bar situation. The discomfort is because you are aware of her discomfort and are trying too hard to make it ok.

Confident people lead by setting an example. Be comfotable and share something about yourself and she will follow.

By: goose

goose — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 18:35:02 +0000

me: I like your smile, what’s you name?
hb: Henna.
me: you look a little weirded out, (we go to shake hands and she nods)
me: Wow your hands are hot!
hb: yes it’s hot in here.
me: I’m going to take you home and drape my laundy over you and you’ll dry it all out.
hb [laughs nervously].
\
me: OK cheerio Henna.
And I can the interaction, because I know 2 things.
1.
She isn’t sure what I want and she wants to know what I want (because I haven’t ‘hit on her’, really).
2.
If I tell her what I want at this point, then the interaction becomes easy for her (she can decline my suit, and I lose).
\
So I needed to resolve her discomfort and uncertainty – her shyness.
I’m thinking a cold read…. but I thought I’d ask here for expert advice.
\
This, I hope you can see, is on the topic of flirting.

By: Chris

Chris — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 03:10:18 +0000

I have to say, I flirt all the time, whether I know it or not. If there’s a woman there, I flirt with her if she’s not totally obscene with her personality. It’s only when I find someone that I am actually attracted to beyond ‘I like you as a friend’ that I actually try to flirt … and it’s then that I become painfully obvious. There’s no covert way for me to work at flirting, but when it just happens, I’m smooth.

I do have times that I’m shy, but those are few and far between compared to my childhood, and I also have a hard time telling whether a woman is interested or if she’s just being nice, unless they are blatantly obvious about it, and then I just think they’re messing with me …

… I wonder what people think of my attempted flirtations? Do they think I’m messing with them, like I think women that are being obvious about it are messing with me?

By: Whacko

Whacko — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 10:39:11 +0000

I am totally blind when it comes to flirting. I Generally don’t notice it when a girl flirts with me. More often than I like, my friends tell me “dude those girls were all over you, why didn’t you do anything?”. Ofcourse they tell me this AFTER we or the girls left the club or whatever.
Or maybe I’m just too shy too acknowledge when a girl flirts with me, and I just brush it off as her being nice and just having fun…