The most basic human desire is to be understood. To have the ability to make someone feel like they are the most important person in the room when talking to them is all about emotional connection. Charisma is that connection we feel towards another person when we can see a bit of ourselves in them.
Anyone can learn to be charismatic with a bit of help and guidance. What I do in my workshops is not try to change anyone; instead I try to help people reveal the confident, interesting, and expressive sides to their personality while helping them understand how to do that in a balanced way.
Some Do’s and Don’ts:
Do make a strong introduction.
– A warm friendly confident smile and eye contact in the first moments of meeting make all the difference.
Do take a genuine interest in other people.
– We all want to be validated and liked. Giving that to others is a sure way to get it in return.
Do express some personality.
– Be an individual with positive confident views.
Don’t talk facts.
– They can read that in the brochure. What is your experience with [person, place, thing, etc.]
Don’t try to make them like you.
– Learn what it is about them that you like and that interest will be returned.
Don’t ask too many questions. Don’t do all the talking.
– Balance asking questions with making statements about your experiences and relating to them.
Tags: Charisma, Confidence, Do's and Don'ts
August 19th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Dan, this is my favorite of your recent posts. I feel like there’s a lot of deep wisdom in these simple, straightforward Do’s and Don’ts.
For me, the two most significant ones are “Don’t talk facts” and “Don’t ask too many questions”. Both really push me to talk better from the “I” perspective – emphasizing emotions and details; speaking in a relatable way.
As an introverted male, it’s difficult for me to talk about myself, and when I do my tendency is to talk in facts. As I’m slowly improving in this area, I’m finding that my charisma, self-expression, and magnetism are improving as well.
Thanks for the simple and profound post.
Best,
MS
August 21st, 2008 at 1:28 am
I find your posts very informative and so much to learn from.
Something I’d like to add to “Do take a genuine interest in people.” There’s a saying, “You’re only interesting when you’re interested.” When I go to dinner parties or any event where I have to mingle, this is something which I keep in mind.