Comments on: The Flaw in Building Attraction

By: Dan Donche

Dan Donche — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 20:14:57 +0000

Something I think goes well with what you said is what I call the “Legend Effect”. True heroes, legends, etc. will talk about their own exploits, because they don’t need to. It comes off the wrong way. They allow others to speak about the things that make them so infamous (or high value, in this case), which ends up working even more to their advantage – it increases the value or legend that way. I don’t think it’s necessary to demonstrate higher value. Let them assume you have value by the way you present yourself, then the only thing left is to have fun and try not to lower your value.
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By: rosebud

rosebud — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 15:31:44 +0000

hello everyone…nice tips..
im a lady , maybe i can help here:D
the best way to attract people to you is have attractive face/body expressions (eye contact, a smile, have physical strength)

The other thing you can work on is dress properly, but not overdress as to show that you have worked too hard to impress with your style…just wear decent stylish clothes …because first impressions DO LAST!..so if you wear 1cm thick eye glasses, expect to attract someone the same..just dont be too classic…girls like those who seem active, passionate…and thus they might think youre inactive if you wear classic style all the time!

also, be mysterious….mysteriousness brings up curiosity…
but dont be too mysterious and hide behind a table…be sociable, tell jokes…or just participate a little bit…and say something useful…because too many jokes adn clowny behavior is a big turnoff…and saying silly information will just indicate that you are a silly person!

hoep that was useful

By: Sender

Sender — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 01:21:45 +0000

Love it! If you replace “only child” with “oldest child” then that could be a page from my journal. I really do belive that I am an accomplished and interesting person, but when forced to take a hard look at it the reason for half the things that I have done was to have cool stories to “impress” people with. The habit goes farther back than I can even remember, my parents telling me stories about how even shortly after I had learned to read I would brag to their friends about how I was reading books “above my age level” just to bask in the glow of their socially mandated compliments. Habits that are that ingrained are tough to break (I catch myself all the time deriding people for bragging about their money or possessions only to catch myself two sentences latter implicitly bragging about my education or supposed intelectual refinement). Learning to ask people questions to truly learn about them (i.e., to really be present in the conversation) rather than simply using my questions as a springboard for my “please like me and think I am cool and interesting” stories is one of the toughest challenges I have undertaken, but I know it will reap huge rewards in genuine human interaction. I know there was not really a question in here, but writing these things in a public forum is rather cathartic. Thanks for the great insights and for serving as a catalyst for self-improvement.

By: Walter

Walter — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 18:25:09 +0000

Totally agreed – being eager to please shows lower value on her part, and we’re putting her up on a pedestal.

Relating to her experiences taps into our humanity and shows what we have in common at a core level, not just what activities we like to do or where we live.

I also like your idea of just assuming that attraction is there because it’s often a self-fulfilling prophecy.

By behaving “as if” she were already into you, she will be because of your behavior. Any hesitation or doubt, and she’ll sense the uncertainty.

Women want to know a man can lead her, and it’s her choice to follow – so by seeking her approval, we’re not leading but instead asking for her invitation to lead.

By: Roulette

Roulette — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 16:33:15 +0000

“Be yourself” is probably the best seduction advice out there. If we can understand what it means. That mantra has been passed around from women to men since forever. The problem with it is no man gets what it means! They think that women should accept their limited social savvy, bad body language, limited confidence and disgusting image. And if they don’t, their BITCHES!

What women really mean by “be yourself” is to stop trying to impress them. The less we try to impress, the more attraction they will feel for us. Thats what women have been trying to drill into our skulls for centuries.

I believe it’s absolutely crucial to focus on improving body language, vocal tonality, style/image and most importantly social skills. Those are things we learn indirectly from birth to adulthood. A lot of the guys who come to this community don’t have ANY of those things. Or at least a limited amount. These are the exact things guys in this community need to learn.

We all need to stop focusing on magic bullet techniques (eMail me if you want the foolproof technique for seducing women while taking a shit) We need to realize that before we can ever hope to seduce a women, we need to become an actual high value person ourselves. Once we have these things, there is no need to work on impressing any women. We have essentially become a high value individual.

And if our only motivation for being here and changing those fundamental things is to sleep with women, we shouldn’t even be here in the first place. If we don’t want to be a high value person with great social skills, body language, confidence and such for OURSELVES, then we’re going to have one hell of a hard time following through with all this pickup stuff.

It’s not just about pickup, it’s about becoming a better person.

Kudos,
Roulette