It is in that split second when you introduce yourself you are putting yourself out there; they will mirror the warmth or awkwardness you project. This is why projecting a warm vibe is so important.
I realized in this whole game of social interaction it is all about balanced energy exchange. When I come up to someone with a half way committed vibe with a look of nervousness in my eyes, then that is what I will receive in return. In her mind she is seeing what the interaction is going to be like. She sees my body language and approach and she just sees an interaction that she is going to have to struggle through and work at to keep going. It has nothing to do with me at all; it is how much work and energy she perceives she is going to have to put into talking to me. When I come up with a warm friendly vibe, even if it is not returned immediately, she sees I am unaffected and confident and that I am willing to lead the conversation and interaction somewhere. This puts her at ease and she doesn’t feel like it will be too much work. This all happens right at the introduction.
When approaching a group I never worry about approach angle or who to talk to first. I just approach the person closest to me. If they don’t face me immediately I lightly hold the back of my hand/fingers against their upper arm until they look at me. Then I warmly introduce myself. I try to introduce myself to the 3-4 people closest to mea and if there are more people I usually wave and just say “Hi” and my name.
I am really shocked how well simply introducing myself works to mollify guys out at bars as well. Simply showing warmth to them it not only relaxes them but it shows a lot to the women around you about your character. In fact the one thing that I tell my female clients to watch for is if a guy who is hitting on them, takes the time to at least warmly introduce himself to the rest of the group.
Gaining the trust of people in the group does not take a long time; sometimes I don’t spend any time at all talking to them. With a warm introduction earlier though, I have had their friends offering to pick a girl up from place in the morning. From gaining their trust, reverse isolation, to opening well, a warm introduction is really powerful.
