Comments on: Vibe and Group Approach

By: Einar Who?

Einar Who? — Sun, 18 Jun 2006 01:38:00 +0000

“Put this plate on top of the stack..COMMIT TO IT”
It’s even improved my work performance. I used to drop and spill shit all the time, no more!
I had a commitment problem.
Hope you’ll be working Ann Arbor July 28.
Cheers.

By: Thesmoothoperator

Thesmoothoperator — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 20:00:00 +0000

Hello Dan,

I just wanted to thank you again for this blog. It just keeps getter and better. You really make things easy to understand and apply.

When is your book coming out? I would definitely be interested in buying it

By: SocialHitchHiker

SocialHitchHiker — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 14:58:00 +0000

LOL, it does seem that way even to me at times. But it has been true in the past. Now i understand giving the "talk" a bit better and it isn't much of a problem anymore.

The big difference is i live in a small town, everyone knows everyone. So I am pretty careful, sometimes too careful, about not burning bridges.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

By: Charlie Brown

Charlie Brown — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 04:04:00 +0000

I just read most of your blog and you seem to be a great guy.

Something struck me when I read how many times you could've had sex with some girls and didn't do it because you had to tell them you're dating other girls. Are you sure your aren't rationalizing what's in fact a sticking point?

But then again, you may be a guy who doesn't like casual sex. Then go ahead and have fun just making out.

BTW, love the shirt design.

By: larrythecaveman

larrythecaveman — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 00:50:00 +0000

That was another awesome post, Dan!

I believe that the idea of commitment can be applied with great results to everything we do.

You can't be committed only when you address the girls, and be uncommitted with anything else in your life.

Before you open girls in a committed fashion, you have to get first into a habit of performing your acts (in life, in general) with commitment.

When girls see that there is intention and willpower behind your acts, they are attracted.

So it's not just the "Hi" that need to be committed. But also the left step, and the right step etc. that you take to walk up to her. The way you look at her, before open your mouth.

The funny thing is, men too seem fascinated with such behavior.

Larry

By: SocialHitchHiker

SocialHitchHiker — Thu, 15 Jun 2006 22:58:00 +0000

This is overcome in two places. Vibe will prevent this if you are committed and warm. If there is this regardless it is how you respond to it that will determine the rest of the interaction. You just have to not let it phase you at all. If you are comfortable then they will be as well. Hard to explain easy to see in action.

Luckily women are rarely socially inept. A joke or a good opener (focus, flopsy, or presumption) will melt most people.

Honestly if i am commited and put myself out there in a friendly warm way I rarely recieve a bad reaction. If I am hesitant and look for their approval when approaching then i often get that response.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 15 Jun 2006 21:11:00 +0000

Dan, how do you deal when somebody is so socially inept that when you try to be friendly that person responds with distrust? Or simply when that person has a nasty attitute (not a presumption), or doesn’t give you in her eyes enough value to want to commit to the interaction? Or better yet, how to display initially enough value to prevent this and begin an interaction? It is something I was questioning to myself. Some methods advocate to “high value display” routines, C&F, etc. to create attraction and then rapport. I’m curious because if that person is not attracted initially to you, you can’t go further…

regards

By: SocialHitchHiker

SocialHitchHiker — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 16:59:00 +0000

You got it exactly! You “disarmed” them just by being cool. They already like you because you approached with warmth and was nice to everyone. Then even your interest in one girl is justified because she answered your question in a way that appealed to you. Of course you would be interested in talking to her.

Here is another trick. SOI her so her group can overhear. Boom, now your sexual interest is even justified to them and they won’t be that resistant if she chooses to be more sexual with you.

By: recenello

recenello — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 16:45:00 +0000

Dan, I like how you say,

"It will make sense to her and the group why you want to talk to her."

So many guys I've talked to about this are petrified of the rest of the group to know their interest in which certain girl he likes because he feels it will make the rest of the group feel stupid or just have some kind of secret out in the open.

What people don't understand is anything is possible. As long as you want the group to know your interest but have them still think you're a swell guy, it will happen. Let them know this in your vibe and in your words.

My take, is instead of making it out like others will be mad, be in the MINDSET that others will be happy that their friend has just met an awesome, cute, sexy dude.

But you gotta have that in mind. Commit to it.

By: SocialHitchHiker

SocialHitchHiker — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 06:33:00 +0000

Sure. Connect with a couple people closest to you, then ask a simple question to multiple people. Just be more interested in the answer from the woman you want to talk to. It will make sense to her and the group why you want to talk to her.

By: Vapor

Vapor — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 06:02:00 +0000

Thanks!

So. You have approached the group and introduced. You can’t exactly vacuum everybody and start connecting simultaneously. I see how the warm vibe open is powerful, and done properly will have the group liking you. Do you start connecting specifically with the girl you’re interested in after that?