It is one of the most frustrating things about dating, never receiving the phone call. You meet someone that you actually like and wouldn’t mind getting to know better. The conversation flowed well; there was a touch of flirting back and forth that was playful and you exchanged contact information. The worst part is the feeling of wondering what you did wrong; the not knowing causes our minds come up with all sorts of absurd thoughts to answer why it happened.
I have to admit I’ve been that guy who doesn’t call after getting your number. It really wasn’t anything personal. There was nothing you did wrong; in fact likely it was my fault. We had a fun time talking. After a day or so I thought about calling, I honestly did, but I just wasn’t excited about it enough. In the moment we were having fun and I figured more of that in the future would be good so I should get your number. A day or two later all I really had in my mind about our connection was that we had fun. I’d probably have more fun calling up a buddy or maybe trying to meet someone that I had more of a connection with.
There are a lot of reasons why guys flake, from just getting the number because they wanted to see if they could, finding another woman they like more, to just being busy and it would feel weird to call since too much time has passed. It is going to happen to everyone, but there are some things you can do to try to minimize it.
One of the most important things I feel when I meet a woman I plan on calling is that I find something interesting about her. We have either a common interest, or I find that person intriguing. Our interaction went beyond flirting and fun and a deeper connection was made. In our workshops we spend a lot of time working with people to relate with anyone about anything. Forming that connection so he knows you two have things in common and leaving him with a feeling that you are interesting and intriguing is the main goal.
Having a good sense of who you are and answering questions in a way that reveals a bit more about you will go a long way. Also don’t forget to find out what is interesting about them. It is very attractive to us when someone takes an interest in who we are. Playing coy or mysterious is fine when we are trying to guess whether you are attracted to us. If you are trying too hard to be mysterious about who you are, physical attraction becomes one of the only motivating factor for us to call you.
Be interesting, be interested, and be intriguing. If you accomplish those goals when talking to a guy they will likely go home thinking when they should call you, not if.
Tags: attraction, being interesting, being intriguing, Dating, flaking, phone calls
September 13th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
I think a lot of guys are a bit shell-shocked. By & large, calling women is not a pleasant experience. Women will give out their numbers to men they don’t like, just to avoid confrontation. So when he calls, that girl who was warm & friendly at the party is suddenly cold & bitchy, or doesn’t return the guy’s call & makes him feel like a fool. Players have taught themselves not to care through sheer repetition, but I think the \nice guys\ of the world hem & haw & put it off until too much time has passed to call. He has no way of knowing that you were that one woman in 10 who really wanted him to call!
September 14th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
So I have another way of dealing with this: give up the concept of “dating.” It brings so much expectations and pressure. You feel more nervous, so he will feel more nervous. Instead, go out and connect with everyone. In your mind, men and women are the same. Some people will get your number, some won’t. Some will call, some won’t. The truth is, when your mind gets really clear, the ones you really want to call you, will call you. The connections you really want to continue, will continue. As for the rest … if you enjoyed the moment you spent with them, that is enough.
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