Letâ€™s start with understanding that women naturally want a strong confident man. In so doing they unconsciously test you to see how well you stand up to that ideal of theirs. The important thing to realize though is they do it UNCONCIOUSLY. Women donâ€™t want to break you down; they just find themselves doing it and then resenting you for it. It is very difficult to spot and fight against in all cases. You probably already have been the victim of emasculation. Why do they do this though?
Women need reassurance constantly about how you feel about them. It is important you give that to them freely and openly. However women also need to know you are strong. By criticizing you, testing you, and putting you in situations that are uncomfortable they get constant reminders of just how strong or weak you are and how well you will be able to fill that â€œprotector and providerâ€ role.
So how do you avoid being emasculated? There are simple things you can do to avoid and deal with many of the tests being thrown out at you. One is begin to build a strong sense of self-identity. Disqualify whenever there are criticisms of what you wear, think, do, or say. Know what you like, want, and seek out in life; NEVER compromise on these things for her. If you compromise your ideals or passions you will be kicked to the curb before you know it. In fact actively cultivate them and take time away from her to make sure you are pursuing something in your life other than your relationship. Pickup is not one of those things.
Secondly learn to call a woman out on things. This is a very difficult thing to do and takes practice. It is something I am actively working on at the moment and Iâ€™m sure Iâ€™ll post more blogs about this as I explore this further. The main idea is that when you are strong enough to stand up to a woman, then you are strong enough to be that â€œprotector and providerâ€ even when the only saber tooth tiger in a hundred miles is the one that she has created for you and is within her. However when you do it, never be rude; make sure you start with something like: â€œI hear that you are saying _________â€ and repeat back to her what she said to you. Continue to do this until what you are saying matches what she feels she said. Then reply to it strongly with your side and be firm. If you havenâ€™t made an opinion on it yet, then tell her you know where she is at and you need to solidify how you feel about it and that will take you some time to think about it. Donâ€™t continue talking.
Women can understand social issues far faster than men. They actually have larger parts of their brains for dissecting and understanding these things while in the very situation. Guys actually need time away from a situation to focus on it better and check in with how they feel. Tell her you hear what she is saying, but you need time to think about how you feel about it. Re-assure her you will not dodge this but instead set a specific time to talk about it later. When you get a chance to spend some time away from the conversation you will be able to know where you are at on the subject and can come back being much stronger and more assured in where we are at and our opinions.
The key in avoiding emasculation is simply being strong in who you are. Donâ€™t always be looking for shit tests, or her trying to emasculate you. That is a sure way to create problems. You will start to see them where they are not if you get in that mindset. Cultivate a strong sense of self and know it is ok to stand up to others criticisms of you. Be open minded to change but change because you want to, not because others want you to.