Well why doesn’t she stop trying to be the man then, you ask? That’s just it. As an alpha female, she is a naturally strong, take-charge kind of person, and just like you yourself need to be able to relax and be your full self with her, she needs to be able to be her full self with you too — and still have a hot sexual connection with you. When a strong woman is with a man who is insufficiently firm, it is not relaxing. She doesn’t want to ride roughshod over you. She doesn’t want to emasculate you. She doesn’t want to have to diminish herself to try to force the relationship to work. She would rather find someone more able to take charge and keep her in hand. (That does not NOT *NOT* mean you have to be an a**hole, BTW. See the takeninhand.com site for more on that if interested.)

This is very difficult for men, because you have it drummed into you from the cradle that being firm with a woman is unacceptable, wrong, controlling, abusive, etc. Talk about mixed messages! It is not surprising men have trouble getting it right with women.

Nevertheless, the truth is that almost all women, even the most strident feminists, in a relationship with a man, want not to be the one in charge in the relationship. They want your control to be calm, considerate, kind and loving. But they do want you to be the take-charge provider-protector whom they can’t walk all over.

That is what all those tests are about. As the man said.

Also feel free to take me up on the offer of a 20min free phone consult and see if a coaching program or just a few phone consultations might help.

What if you have already shown her that you are weak? How do you turn things around and stop the emasculation?

Thanks